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Fresno family law lawyer murdered with client

2011-03-02T17:14:00.000-08:00

Fresno lawyer and her client were gunned down Wednesday at a Bass Lake restaurant, reportedly during a court recess in the client's divorce hearing.
The Madera County Sheriff's Office, which was investigating the fatal shootings, did not identify the slain women by late Wednesday.
But the local legal community learned Wednesday afternoon that one of the shooting victims was Judith Soley, 65, of Fresno, the first woman to serve as president of the Fresno County Bar Association, said Melissa White, the bar association's past president.
Soley, who was known as a tough divorce lawyer, also was a Downtown Fresno Rotary Club chairwoman and president of Fresno County's women's lawyers association.Read more: http://www.fresnobee.com/2011/02/16/2275217/fatal-shooting-reported-at-bass.html##ixzz1FUniIGgX

Having seen first-hand the vicious, destructive power of family law it seems inevitable that someone, sooner or later, ends up being the victim of some horrifying act of violence.

Let's be clear about one thing: no one really knows, except for a few people in Fresno, what really happened between these parties. The only thing we know is that a evil act was committed.

Whatever the rationale may be for someone who committed such a crime is, it is not rational.

http://www.fresnobee.com/2011/02/16/2275217/fatal-shooting-reported-at-bass.html

What I know of family law makes it suprising that more such crimes are not committed. Given the easy access to guns the criminal and mentally ill have, I'm impressed how rarely this happens.

I won't lie to anyone about where my sympathies lie in such a case. I think that the murdered ex-spouse was a victim of domestic violence, and that the murderer was in all likelihood a controlling, manipulative, and mentally damaged person who was both untreated and personally not capable of considering himself responsible for what had happened to him. He was probably a good guy in public, and in private a total asshole. But I don't really know.

I know that the attorney for the wife was a hardened veteran of the family courts. I know that someone wrote the following post:

"
You are absolutely right.....you do not know me or the specifics of my case or probably any of her cases. I am positive she was a great friend, mother, and daughter......but as far as a great attorney ......not as far as loads of folks feel. .she cause much pain in and out of the court room and her office......and this time it got her and her client killed.....she went too far antagonizing this man knowing what he was capable of doing.....sometimes getting the most money for your client (and yourself) is NOT in the best interest of your client......she should have know better....she aways HAD to win and this time the other spouse didn't have an attorney.....which is usually a good sign EXTRA care should be taken as far as intentionally antagonizing the spouse......if he didn't want to pay for his own attorney and money was his main issue......then she knew how he would feel when she was about to get $155,000 in fees out of HIS half (Fees..which by the way should have included "security" for this client....this was huge mistake....again...a good attorney (with forty years of family law experience) would have provided this and should have......especially knowing he had just read her 21 page trial brief dated 2/10/11......There are Two sides to every story....and the one about Mrs. Williamson.....will never known. By the way....I always recommended Judy to my friends.....as long as they were sure they NEVER want to be friends or be trusted again by their ex spouse.....and damage to their family didn't matter....because when she was finished painting a picture of their marriage and their spouse.....they will think the marriage was a complete mistake and their spouse never loved them.....she was a master and if you wanted to get or keep every dime you can...No matter what! She was the attorney to hire!P.s. If you didn't think she could be Conniving, Antagonist, and vengeful then you didn't know her as an attorney, as well as you think! Great "gutsy" attorney? Hummm? She should have provided security in her outrageous $155,000 fee...that was unforgivable not gutsy! Again, She was well aware her client was afraid of her husband...so much so that she stayed with friends the night before the trial. Read more: "

This is a post obviously written by someone from that community. Someone who knew this attorney. They also wrote this post as well:

"Thank God someone finally has told the truth about Judy. She was a conniving,antagonistic, vengeful person that If The truth was told.....was more disliked ...than liked! She cause more problems for already unhappy couples and purposely ruined any chance of a couple getting back together..... Because if they did... She would not get the Big bucks. There is a reason she was considered the "Lawyer's ... Lawyer" when getting a divorce. It was...because she knew all if the tricks and Judges ..... And also Was a MASTER as to what buttons to push... In order to get the spouse so upset they would become outraged, hurt, and scare they were about to lose everything .....knowing they and/or ANY Fresno attorney they could hire could never compete against this vicious, lying, vengefull woman. Years ago when Bill Richert (who was About as nasty and mean as Judy and the Only Local attorney who was her match) died on a Friday night, who was my attorney, she did not wait 5 days to turn what had begun as fairly Peaceful divorce into a nightmare that lasted 3 years and ended up costing "us" more than $150,000......she had my spouse File divorce papers 3 days(and deliver them to my office) after Bill's death, knowing I needed to find a new attorney...... And this was 3 weeks before Christmas!!!! (we had been separated for 18 months and had not decided when or IF we were going to divorce, but after Bill died.... She knew it was time for her to take charge... And so she did!)However, more importantly she turned a decent couple into untrusting, Angry spouses, who lost a 20 year friendship ... that has never completely recover, she was the only one who walked away happy...... If she could ever be happy.... I feel she was a very unhappy person who found joy in seeing and making other folks as unhappy as she was.......Honestly, I am surprised someone didn't try to hurt her before this.......she has spent a lifetime of hurting innocent people by her lies and "egging on" the other spouse, therefore ruining some fixable marriages for her OWN personal gain....and usually the couples with money. of course lately, she would not take a divorce case unless the folks had a lot of money.....it is pretty hard to get $150K if the couple doesn't have it!!! In the end, my ex wasn't happy with her either. she ended up with more than we did....... Except emotionally......our entire family suffered and she made it far worse. She didn't try to help us.....she just wanted to rack up the hours by keeping us at odds with each other. If she would have had her way....we would have gone to trial.....but that plan ended ......when she wanted us to put a lien against our home to insure her fee. Our accountant (and NOT the one she hired) helped us reach a settlement. Her $147,500 fee and the other attorney & accounting fee of $67K (not counting Bill's $10k fee) came right off the top..... And we got what was left....believe me ......she made loads of folks miserable!You can not go through life creating so much unhappiness for other families...for your personal gain....and then do loads of good deeds for others folks to make up for it....and expect everyone overlook it and forgive and forget the damage she did to an entire family...I haven't and it as been over 18 years.Read more:"

This is the kind of thing that I suspected might have been a part of the story. A few of the divorce attorneys where I practice are "scorched earth" lawyers. They call it being "aggressive". I call it being unethical. Lying, cheating, stealing, helping people hide money, fabricating allegations of child abuse and spousal abuse: none of these things are off the table with these kinds of attorneys. I didn't know this attorney, and we can't judge from one disgrunted poster from the sacbee website, but I can tell you that there is a deeper story here: one likely about a woman who tolerated abuse for decades and an attorney who ran roughshod over the lives of others without regard to the damage it might cause, and in the end, paid the ultimate price.

But I digress...

THE DEATH OF AUTOCRACY IN THE MIDDLE EAST? GUESS AGAIN...

2011-02-18T15:24:00.000-08:00

It's yet another opportunity for me to predict the future. Yes folks, I predicted the tech bubble, I predicted the housing bubble, I predicted the wholesale destruction of the American economy at the hands of Wall Street. I predicted the Iraq war would turn into a disaster and I have been correct each time.

The current struggles in the middle east will not give rise to more democratic governments. These are areas of the world where democracy can only be implemented with force: much as Napoleon brought much-needed reforms to France, only a powerful leader bent upon creating freedom and tolerance will change the middle east.

You will notice, first of all, that Egypt was one of the most democratic nations in the middle east. Thus the vulnerability of it's ruling autocratic regime was created by it's reticence to use the tactics that the Syrians or Iranians would not hesitate to use.

I hailed the rise of Ayatollah Komeini when I was a young man. I watched him get off the plan and felt it was a great thing that this leader was returning to free his country. I could not have been more wrong.

What we are facing in the mideast is "Arab" democracy. One man, one vote, one time. And then we will watch as the insidious cultural influence of Islam takes hold and crushes the life out of idealism.

I don't mean to be cynical: I hope I am wrong. But against the backdrop of all that has happened in that part of the world, and who they are, we would be quite foolish to assume that these are positive things.

2010-06-05T13:28:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IytNBm8WA1c

2009-10-10T08:01:00.000-07:00

CNN) -- A Pennsylvania soccer mom was chatting with a friend via webcam when she was shot to death by her husband, who then went upstairs and shot himself, police said Friday.

Pistol-packing soccer mom Meleanie Hain was shot dead while chatting with a friend on a webcam, police said.

Meleanie Hain, 31, made national headlines last year as the mother who carried a loaded, holstered handgun to her 5-year-old daughter's soccer game.

She was found dead in her Lebanon, Pennsylvania, home along with her husband, Scott Hain, 33, on Wednesday evening, Lebanon police said.

Hain was in her kitchen talking with a friend via webcam just before her death, police said. Watch why Hain caused controversy »

The friend, who police will not name, was looking away from the computer screen when he heard a shot and a scream, police said. He turned back to the monitor, he told police, and no longer saw Meleanie Hain but instead saw Scott Hain firing several rounds from a handgun toward where his wife had been.

Police said that the woman's body had already fallen to the floor by the time the friend turned back to the screen.

Don't Miss

Soccer mom, husband shot dead

Scott Hain then went upstairs to a bedroom, where he shot himself in the head with a 12-gauge shotgun, police said.

Meleanie Hain was shot several times with a 9 mm handgun, police said. Her fully loaded 9 mm handgun was found in her backpack hanging on the back of the front door.

The couple's three children were home at the time of the killings, police Capt. Daniel Wright said. They were unharmed and took refuge at a neighbor's house before police arrived, he said.

Investigators have confiscated the webcam and computer, but cannot review what the friend says he saw because the online conversation was not recorded.

The death of the couple came four months after Meleanie Hain told her attorney she was separating from her husband, her attorney, Matthew B. Weisberg, told CNN Thursday. However, police said the couple still appeared to be living together.

Meleanie Hain drew media attention on September 11, 2008, when she carried a Glock strapped to her belt to her daughter's soccer game.

Nine days later her permit to carry a gun was revoked by Lebanon County Sheriff Michael DeLeo, who claimed she showed poor judgment by wearing the weapon to a child's game. County Judge Robert Eby later reinstated the permit.

2009-10-10T07:55:00.000-07:00

This article explains exactly why gun rights advocates completely miss the boat on the topic of self-defense.

Statistics, often cited indicate that for ever person killed by a stranger, dozens and dozens of people are killed by people they know. The myth of stranger violence and concealed-carry laws explodes into flames against the reality.

This article says it all.

2009-08-06T22:02:00.000-07:00

Starbucks and the "short" cappucino

2009-07-06T09:13:00.000-07:00

Starbucks apparently has a "short" cappucino that mirrors the real thing. For those of you unaware of the reality, Starbucks doesn't actually make a cappucino. What they make is a latte. If there is significantly more milk than espresso in the drink, it reduces the amount of actual coffee flavor, which is the primary purpose of the cappucino.

Having spoken with a manager of Starbucks, he admitted that indeed, their equipment simply doesn't make it properly. The temperature is too high and overcooks the milk. In order to do it properly, they have to work with their equipment. It doesn't do it automatically the way they do it at Peets.

My answer was to always order the drink, but ask for it "extra-dry". Even then you will often by subjected to a giant, heavy cup of milk.

If you pick up a cappucino, as I have stated previously, and it is HEAVY from the solid milk, instead of light from foam, you have been offically "milked" as I call it. There isn't any excuse for it. It's simply a typical American bastardization of a very good thing from another place.

There are things we do better than the Italians. Pizza, for example. Coffee? Shoes? Nope.

2009-06-06T14:53:00.000-07:00

NO wonder the peace process is sluggish.

2009-06-06T14:51:00.001-07:00

Having strong opinions without the brains to back them up makes you look not very smart.

2009-05-29T10:06:00.001-07:00

Karate, body conditioning and the Makiwara

2009-05-08T22:16:00.000-07:00

A recent debate on the website bullshido.com piqued my interest in a traditional Okinawan practice. Karate practitioners in very hard styles of karate will pound their fists into boards, condition their shins and arms with wood or other surfaces, in an attempt to harden the bones. This supposedly makes the karate practitioner more effective in combat.

The subject is a matter of controversy and there isn't really a lot of scientific evidence

Escrima and alcohol do not mix....

2009-04-26T14:55:00.000-07:00

FOR THOSE WHO TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY -

2009-02-11T14:45:00.000-08:00

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is like night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.

5. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

9. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

10. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese.

13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.

16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!

19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

22. How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand...

23. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

24. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously
overlooked something.

26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

28. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

30. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

31. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

32. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

33. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out

34. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

35. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

36. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what
happened.

37. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall
off.

38. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

Thank you Mr. Obama

2008-11-15T10:44:00.000-08:00

This is the first post in a long time, and now that the election is over I can breathe a sigh of relief, comfortable in the knowledge that Sarah Palin has no chance of being President. I still can't decide which is really more significant, the election of Obama, or the nomination of Sarah Palin. One positive, a sign that our nation has matured and is clearly moving away from the know-nothing wing of the Republican party, and the other, a warning bell ringing in the night that yes, it really is possible for someone who isn't even remotely qualified to be President could actually be in that office.

For those of you claiming George Bush was that person, I must defend Mr. Bush, as strange as that sounds, and firmly argue that Bush is a much more intelligent and educated person that Palin, who is not only able to tell the most bald-faced lies with utter precision, but is clearly dumber than a box of rocks.

But rather than dwell on the negative, I will say that the acceptance speech of Obama brought tears to my eyes. Even McCain's speech was moving, if misguided.

Now comes the hard part.

2008-05-25T18:48:00.000-07:00

A latte is NOT a cappucino

2008-05-25T13:02:00.000-07:00

I wanted to write about something earth-shaking today, other than gas prices, the Iraq war, and no pun intended, the quakes in China. This deep and important issue is the cappuccino.

My morning caffeine rush is in some part the best part of the day. I can't wait for the day to be over so I can wake up and go get it again. The cappuccino is a part of that. Actually it IS that.

Layered with velvety, slightly sweet foam under which the rich and somewhat bitter espresso resides, hopefully a double shot, the cappuccino is over too quickly. You don't sit and sip it like coffee.

Most drinkers are usually done in a few minutes and on their way, which is why in Italy, the drinker enjoys it standing up, swallows a croissant, and moves right along.

My dilemma is that most barristos and barristas don't know how to make one. The other day, this *$*WJL$*F@ told her compadre, when he asked how to make one "it's basically a latte with foam". I was enraged. I wanted to throw hot coffee on her face. Incidentally, you can rely upon Peet's coffee to make a good one, or the Flying Goat in Sonoma. Always order it in a small cup, if you can. A real cappuccino is always small. The Flying Goat automatically gives you one if you ask for a cappuccino. I love them. They love me.
==============

Cappuccino originated as a beverage in 19th century Vienna cafés, where the coffee menus were innovative: the customers could choose among up to 20 variations of coffees; mostly variations of black coffee and milk or cream. Innovative names like "Kapuziner," "Franziskaner," "Pharisäer," and so forth were invented.

The 'kapuziner' ('cappuccino' in Italian) was so named from the color of the Capuchin friars' habit, which is light/darkish brown and at that time a frequently used term. The Italian 'version' of the Austrian beverage had come south in the first decades of the 20th century and grew in popularity as the large espresso machines in cafés and restaurants were improved during and after WW2. By the 1950's, the Italian cappuccino had found its form. The name 'cappuccino' is inspired by the color of the beverage (the blend of coffee and milk), which is a brownish-red, and has nothing to do with the 'cap' of foam, which was a later addition to the drink, nor the description of a white hood or white rope as part of the costume: this is incorrect. The name of the friars themselves (and the monkey also named after them) comes from the Italian word for hood, "cappuccio" [kap'put:ʃo], which is also often used colloquially for the beverage (the '-ino' suffix denotes a diminutive in Italian). The Capuchin friars' habit again was inspired by St Francisco from Assisi's original costume—with a pointed hood and this color—as it is preserved in the basilica in Assisi.

Ingredients

Besides a shot of espresso, the most important element in preparing a cappuccino is the texture and temperature of the milk. When a barista steams the milk for a cappuccino, he or she creates microfoam by introducing very tiny bubbles of air into the milk, giving the milk a velvety texture and sweetness. The traditional cappuccino consists of an espresso, on which the barista pours the hot foamed milk, resulting in a 1 cm-thick milk foam on top. Variations of the mixtures are usually called cappuccino chiaro (light cappuccino, also known as a wet cappuccino) with more milk than normal, and cappuccino scuro (dark cappuccino, also known as a dry cappuccino) with less milk than normal.

Attaining the correct ratio of foam requires close attention be paid while steaming the milk, thus making the cappuccino one of the most difficult espresso-based beverages to make properly. Moreover, a skilled barista may obtain artistic shapes while pouring the milk on the top of the espresso coffee.

http://www.answers.com/topic/cappuccino

Some women have no shame...

2008-03-15T18:49:00.000-07:00

Prostitute resigns after sleeping with politician.

A subprime primer

2008-02-27T15:29:00.000-08:00

If you are needing a brief lesson on the mortgage meltdown, here is one part of the puzzle.

GOOD THING HE HAD A GUN!!!

2008-02-15T07:36:00.000-08:00

Re: the murders in Illinois
The slaughter continues and the only thing you can do is yawn and snort in utter contempt for a nation who holds candlelight vigils and sits around crying, and then gets on to the hard work of protecting the right to bear arms. The cycle continues, and will continue as long as we Americans refuse to stand up to an army of balding, middle-aged men who insist we suffer under the tyranny of insane government.

The first thing gun nuts will do is mention that Illinois does not allow concealed carry and that would have saved everyone. THis is a popular fantasy. The gun nuts want us to believe that we should all be carrying around firearms in order to protect us from random acts of insane people who are, guess what, carrying concealed firearms.

Never mind the efficacy of defending yourself from a surprise attack while sitting in a classroom, which virtually no one has the training, nor the inclination to train for (and it probably wouldn't work anyway, although this fantasy lives on the minds of the gun nuts) the real question is, why should I have to be ready and armed to defend myself when I'm sitting in class? Does anyone really have an answer to that question?

Furthermore, has a person with a concealed firearm EVER stopped a mass shooting anywhere in the US? Nope. Not one. Ever.

Personally, I am sincerely hoping that sooner or later someone will pop into an NRA convention and start blasting away, just to test out their theory.

Monkey Steals the Peach

2008-01-20T21:12:00.001-08:00

And you thought your fight with your wife was bad...

2008-01-20T20:53:00.000-08:00

This article is a reminder not to date a woman with too strong a grip..

oman jailed for testicle attack A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.

She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours."

Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years.

'Pulled hard'

Sentencing Monti, Judge Charles James said it was "a very serious injury" and that Monti was not acting in self-defence.

The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term but "open relationship" with Monti towards the end of May last year.

The pair remained on good terms and on 30 May she picked him up from a party in Crosby and went back for drinks with friends at Mr Jones's house.

An argument ensued and Mr Jones said there was a struggle between them.

In his statement, Mr Jones said she grabbed his genitals and "pulled hard".

Rectal exam...

2008-01-16T08:50:00.000-08:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080116/ap_on_re_us/unwanted_exam;_ylt=AnDztqX_qyDwllydem_3z08Z.3QA

Man: NY hospital forced rectal exam

25 minutes ago

NEW YORK - A construction worker claimed in a lawsuit that when he went to a hospital after being hit on the forehead by a falling wooden beam, emergency room staffers forcibly gave him a rectal examination.

Brian Persaud, 38, says in court papers that after he denied a request by NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital emergency room employees to examine his rectum, he was "assaulted, battered and falsely imprisoned."

His lawyer, Gerrard M. Marrone, said he and Persaud later learned the exam was one way of determining whether he had suffered spinal damage in the accident.

Marrone said his client got eight stitches for a cut over his eyebrow.

Then, Marrone said, emergency room staffers insisted on examining his rectum and held him down while he begged, "Please don't do that." He said Persaud hit a doctor while flailing around and staffers gave him an injection, which knocked him out, and performed the rectal exam.

Persaud woke up handcuffed to a bed and with an oxygen tube down his throat, the lawyer said, and spent three days in a detention center.

A request by the hospital to dismiss Persaud's lawsuit was denied by Justice Alice Schlesinger, who ordered a trial to start March

================

The reason why this case will probably fail is that people with head injuries commonly fight. However, if he did indeed say "don't do that" there may be some traction here...

I PASSED!!!!!!

2007-11-17T09:25:00.000-08:00

July 2007 California Bar Examination
Application Number:
8328
File Number:
99495
Name:
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The name above appears on the pass list for the July 2007 California Bar Examination.

Evidence that I have good ideas

2007-10-09T16:49:00.000-07:00

I'm tooting my own horn today, although it really is not a happy ocassion. Sometime in April I was driving through Lodi on my way home from Fresno and an idea popped into my head. My best ideas always come from a need which I have myself. Thinking back to all the shitty neighbors I have had, and how it would have been nice to avoid them, I thought of an idea; how about a website where you could find out if you neighbors are assholes?

Thus "rankmyneighbor.com" was born. I bought the URL and shopped it around to a few people who had some experience in designing web pages. The response was, for the most part, tepid. The attitude was, generally speaking, consdescending but at the same time encouraging. Very few people said "Oh, that's a bad idea" but most people didn't stand up and say "hmmmm....I could get rich off this..."

So here, today on Yahoo, is my idea. On Yahoo. Front page news.http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/76813/tattling-on-rotten-neighbors

I won't say it doesn't hurt. But hopefully, in the future, this will give my ideas a little more credibility. Who knows?

Since I had that idea in April, and this crappy website (and it is crappy. all people do is complain. They are also going go get sued for defamation) went live in August, the timing is pretty suspicious. But I have no way of knowing who talked to who, and even if I did we never seriously made anyone sign the non-disclosure agreement because they were all our friends. More than likely someone just came up with it on their own, or someone keeps close tabs on who buys URL's and then figures out the idea that way.

In either case, back to the drawing board.

The Last Lecture of Randy Pausch

2007-09-26T16:19:00.000-07:00

In computer science circles, Carnegie Mellon professor Randy Pausch is known as a virtual-reality expert, co-founder of the university's Entertainment Technology Center and director of the Alice Software Project, which exposes students from middle school through college to programming.

Professor Randy Pausch and his three children in a recent shot.

(Credit: Randy Pausch )

But he is fast becoming familiar to a broader audience as a man with little time to live and much wisdom to impart. Pausch, a 46-year-old father of three, has pancreatic cancer and, most likely, just a few months left.

=====================

You can see the entire last lecture here.

Stop the mortgage bail out!

2007-09-25T19:02:00.000-07:00

It's finally happening like I predicted years ago: now that reality has sunk in and the numerous people who shoe-horned themselves into houses they couldn't afford are about to pay the price, the federal government is talking about stepping in to save the day. For democrats, I suppose it makes some sense. Perpetually the champions of the downtrodden, the democrats can position themselves as standing up for the little guy while at the same time they are standing up for the big guys who bankroll them. After all, if our tax dollars go to pay the mortgage of the family down the straight who allowed themselves to be panicked into a home they couldn't afford, who really ends up with the money?

The Republicans, likewise can position themselves as champions of business, bailing out the poor, unsophisticated millionaires who bought products which, as it turns out, contained these mortgages. I mean, who could have predicted that what goes up must come down? Certainly not the NAR, who as it turns out are behind Bush's latest proposal.

That means that the only people left holding the bag are 1. the taxpayers and 2. people who have been waiting on the sidelines because they knew the market would come down. This means the market will remain artificially inflated, or subsidized, and the break that many of us anticipated may be further off, or may not even come.

For the Republicans, this is the biggest problem. After all, their values included taking responsibility for ones choices. How exactly does this bail-out fit in with that?

The last bail-out in American history was the Savings and Loan Crisis of the 80's. The government paid 145 billion dollars.

According to this article, the current crisis is nothing like that, and as of yet, we have only spent a measly 25 billion dollars on the subprime meltdown. Moreover "all experts" seem to think this is a short-term problem. '

However, reading this article from sfgate which states

"U.S. Sen. Christopher Dodd, D-Conn., suggested that just less than $200 billion could rescue these poor "homeowners." But a bail out will amount to at least five times that when the Alt A market fails."

or here

"Christopher Cagan, director of research at First American CoreLogic, says rising mortgage payments on adjustable rate loans will force 1.1 million homeowners into foreclosure over the next 6 years. He estimates the cost of paying off the debt for those borrowers would be $120 billion.
"

Thus, it would appear many people are contemplating a bigger bail-out. I include myself in this fine company. To quote a source I don't recall "we don't even know where the bodies are buried."

The Jena six hypocrisy

2007-09-21T13:41:00.000-07:00

I've never been a big fan of Al Sharpton who has a long history of being a windbag race-baiter looking to fan the flames of anger rather than the cool eye of a leader intent to help our nation heal the rift that exists between us. I'm also disgusted by the way in which the only real information I was able to find on this case came from, of all people, Michelle Malkin. But then again even a broken clock is right twice a day.

As it turns out, the kid in jail was on probation. Certainly you are all aware that what we have here is a crime of violence committed three months after the symbolic act of hanging a noose on the "white" tree. Six kids attacked one kid, and his face was apparently swollen. While this may not rise to the level of attempted murder, it is a crime of violence. The victims are thus six people who decided to attack one person.

Don't ask me how it is possible that such people could become victims, but America's dearth of black leadership has existed for quite a while, and the likes of Al Sharpton, who it seems should be at least as discredited as Don Imus, continues to get airplay.

Here are the relevant passages:

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There are undeniable racial and economic inequities in our criminal justice system, and from afar the “Jena Six” rallies certainly looked and felt like the righteous protests of the 1960s. But the reality is Thursday’s protests are just another sign that we remain deeply locked in denial about the path we need to travel today for true American liberation, equality and power in the new millennium.

The fact that we waited to love Mychal Bell until after he’d thrown away a Division I football scholarship and nine months of his life is just as heinous as the grossly excessive attempted-murder charges that originally landed him in jail. Reed Walters, the Jena district attorney, is being accused of racism because he didn’t show Bell compassion when the teenager was brought before the court for the third time on assault charges in a two-year span.

Where was our compassion long before Bell got into this kind of trouble?

That’s the question that needed to be asked in Jena and across the country on Thursday. But it wasn’t asked because everyone has been lied to about what really transpired in the small southern town.

There was no “schoolyard fight” as a result of nooses being hung on a whites-only tree. Justin Barker, the white victim, was cold-cocked from behind, knocked unconscious and stomped by six black athletes. Barker, luckily, sustained no life-threatening injuries and was released from the hospital three hours after the attack. A black U.S. attorney, Don Washington, investigated the “Jena Six” case and concluded that the attack on Barker had absolutely nothing to do with the noose-hanging incident three months before. The nooses and two off-campus incidents were tied to Barker’s assault by people wanting to gain sympathy for the “Jena Six” in reaction to Walters’ extreme charges of attempted murder.

Much has been written about Bell’s trial, the six-person all-white jury that convicted him of aggravated battery and conspiracy to commit aggravated battery and the clueless public defender who called no witnesses and offered no defense. It is rarely mentioned that no black people responded to the jury summonses and that Bell’s public defender was black.

It’s almost never mentioned that Bell’s absentee father returned from Dallas and re-entered his son’s life only after Bell faced attempted-murder charges. At a bond hearing in August, Bell’s father and a parade of local ministers promised a judge that they would supervise Bell if he was released from prison. Where were the promises and supervision before any of this?

It’s rarely mentioned that Bell was already on probation for assault when he was accused of participating in Barker’s attack. And it’s never mentioned that white people in the “racist” town of Jena provided Bell support and protected his football career long before Jesse, Al, Bell’s father and all the others took a sincere interest in Mychal Bell.

-From the Kansas City Star

For the clients

2007-09-05T23:03:00.000-07:00

The Lawyer's Client Manifesto
1. You have wants. You have needs. Focus on the needs first. Wants are bonus.

2. If you are seeing a lawyer because your dispute is "not about the money, but about the principle of the thing" don't be surprised if your lawyer runs away. You can never be satisfied. Also, it's really about the money.

3. Your case/matter is the most important thing happening to you right now. It is not the most important thing happening to your lawyer right now. It may not even be in his top ten.

4. If you think your lawyer is trying to kill your deal, remember this: though there may only be a "one percent" chance your deal will go bad, your lawyer sees that "one percent" over and over again. She's looking out for you. She cares about you and your business. She also doesn't want her malpractice premiums to go up.

5. You want to buy results, not time. Most lawyers sell time, not results. Make sure you both understand the difference before your first bill arrives. You will certainly understand the difference after.

6. If you want to find a lawyer who sells results, look hard. There are a few of them out there. They are the ones who can still smile because they get to see their children before 9:00 at night.

7. Big firm lawyers are not more efficient. Or smarter. Or cheaper. They are certainly not cheaper.

8. Make sure your lawyer understands your business. If your lawyer doesn't understand your business, find out if he's going to learn about it on his time, or yours.

9. You are your lawyer's boss. You are not her only boss. She has hundreds of other bosses too. Each one of them thinks their matter is more important than yours.

10. How messy is your lawyer's desk? When they bill you for thirty minutes of "file review," how much of that time was spent looking for your file?

11. When you call a lawyer for the first time, how long does it take for him to return your calls? After you hire that lawyer, expect it to take at least three times as long. Same goes for e-mails.

12. Does your lawyer have reputation for being a "bulldog?" That probably means they are an asshole. To everyone.

13. Look for a lawyer with a technology IQ no more than fifty points less than yours. If you live in e-mail and your lawyer doesn't, learn to like your mail carrier.

14. If you hate your lawyer, fire him. He probably deserves it, and you aren't getting his best work anyway.

15. You wouldn't automatically marry the first person you date, so don't automatically hire the first lawyer you see. A great lawyer-client relationship can last a lifetime. Your lawyer can be your advisor, counselor, confidant, and friend. Find one you like, stick with him or her, and spread the word. Oh, and stop telling lawyer jokes. They aren't really that funny. ;-)

Please check the above link for the original source: "gapingvoid"

[Manifesto submission guidelines are here.] [Manifesto archive is here.]

Miss Teen South Carolina-Dumber than a box of rocks

2007-08-28T15:18:00.000-07:00

As if I didn't need to be tortured enough by my memories as a high school geography teacher and the ability of the average high school student to find the country of London, youtube has given us this fabulous moment. She states in her answer to the question as to why one out of five Americans cannot find the US on the map (I'm don't believe this is true) : "I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education that such as south African and Iraq and such as and I believe that our education over here should help in the US should help the US or should help South Africa or should help Iraq and the south asian countries so we will be able to build up our future."

Now it isn't really that troubling to most of us that a beauty queen would have the mind of a turnip. Although some studies have indicated that better looking people are smarter, I believe the actual conclusion is that better looking people are more confident, appear smarter, and therefore people are fooled into believe they are smarter. Hence the unflagging confidence of talking heads on CNN like the mildly retarded Glenn Beck.

The most troubling thing about this story is not that Ms. Carolina is dumb as a post, it's that 1) she tried to bullshit her way out of it with nonsense, which points to an ever-greater tendency on the part of Americans to use obfuscation to appear intelligent (even beauty queens are doing it) and 2) the fact that most people will not question the statistic that one in five Americans can't find the US on the map.

I have yet to find any study that provides evidence of this statistic. In fact, I'm of the opinion that the reader of the question, who looked like a dingbat herself, read the question wrong. It was probably supposed to be "one in five Americans can't find IRAQ on the map" which would be explained by the recent article on CNN.COM.

Since Ms. Carolina began talking about Iraq, it almost sounds as if she was given the question beforehand, along with the answer, and the reader flubbed it. This may be a greater conspiracy than that of Israel blowing up the WTC. (which you can watch on jewtube.com, the prime purveyor of misinformation for infidels). I want government action. Forget Gonzalez and Rove and their subversion of the constitution. This is important!!!

The truth about biglaw

2007-08-23T19:11:00.000-07:00

My Life As An AssociateJonathan Foreman
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PRINTThe terrible truth dawned on me as I sat on the flowered patio of a midtown restaurant. I was smiling at the summer associate, and he was smiling at me.
The terrible truth dawned on me as I sat on the flowered patio of a midtown restaurant. I was smiling at the summer associate, and he was smiling at me. There were three other associates and three other summer people, all tucking into northern Italian delicacies under a sultry sky. I was smiling at this fellow—whom I liked a lot—and lying to him. I was telling him how much "fun" it was to work at the firm. How the "collegial atmosphere" made all the difference. How ours was not a "sweatshop" like other firms I could mention. As the cliches tumbled out of my mouth and he drank them in like a traveler in the desert, I realized that I had become a Company Man.
There I was—the rebel, who almost every day caballed in corners with my fellow disenchanted ones—seducing another victim. Pulling another sucker into the machine. My late father worked in a circus as a teenager, back in the thirties. He told me that the carnies called the yokels they gulled "marks." Here I was luring a "mark" of a different sort into his very own cage in the menagerie.The big firm I worked at was— like all big New York law firms—a cultural oddity. It combined aspects of the boarding school I had attended in England with the political climate of the former Soviet Union. Like school it was a nightmare world of irrational hierarchies, institutionalized bullying, and overwhelming peer pressure. Like the bad old USSR it combined grotesque inefficiency with a culture of Orwellian surveillance, universal distrust, shameless sucking up, and constant dishonesty. High ideals were honored only in the breach. Capricious tyrants roamed the hallways, the terrifying reality behind the movie The Revenge of the Nerds. Those who flourished in the system were almost always monsters, twisted into Balzacian shapes by the struggle for power. The office was a petri dish for the growth of abnormal psychologies.
Economically it represented a perfect reification of various Marxist theories. As associates we were wage slaves, members of a white-collar proletariat, objectively closer to the model described in Das Kapital than most nineteenth-century factory hands. It may seem odd to call someone a wage slave whose starting salary was $85,000 (though broken down per hour it was much less impressive). But the work of a junior associate, in reality, is being a clerk, a checker, the one whose job is on the line to make sure that the decimal points are in the right place. No one with an Ivy League education is going to perform this sort of drudgery for much less than 80 grand.
We were also faced with alienation from the products of our labor. You would work on the tiniest part of a huge transaction. You would never see the big picture, never know if your all-nighter made a difference, if your clauses appeared in the final documents, never even find out if the deal had gone through.
And to make the life bearable, you found yourself spending a lot of money. After a particularly long and dreary project, or a humiliating interaction with someone of higher rank, I would often slip out to buy myself a little present, perhaps another Ferragamo tie. It's a way of reminding yourself that despite your misery you are a highly paid professional: you may feel like a serf, but you can afford to spend $80 on a beautiful strip of silk. This becomes a way of life. Some people eat chocolate to make themselves feel better; lawyers buy stuff. As they claw their way up the ladder, they buy more and more. Before they know it, they cannot imagine living without an enormous salary.
For a young, single associate this means making up for the unpredictability or lack of a social life by spending freely on your few free evenings. I took taxis everywhere without a thought. I dined at the most expensive restaurants in town because, dammit, it was the only real perk of the job. Lawyers pulling 100-hour weeks have more money than time. So, when we got to take our vacations, we just threw down our gold cards in front of the travel agent and didn't even look at the bill.
Most of us had expensive apartments. Again the thinking was, if my life is going to be so awful, at least I'll have a decent place to come home to. I tried not to think about how little time I spent in my pad, with its great views and empty fridge.
I had struck a Faustian bargain, and I was stuck with it. Without considering its implications, I had sold the firm an option on my time. All my time. I could be called at 3am on Saturday and ordered to go to the office for some proofreading. A friend of mine was forced to miss his sister's wedding. Fathers who were up for partnership worked so hard they never saw the children whose private educations they were paying for. I remember seeing sixth-year associates humbly swallow insults like "shithead" and "jerkoff." We may have been professionals to the outside world. But we cringed and scraped like Dickensian factory hands. We had paid $100,000 in school fees to become members of a white-collar proletariat, loathing our paperwork mill but desperate to continue working in it.
It was worse for the married associates. Some of them had spouses whose affections were predicated on an expensive way of life. Many had children or had taken on mortgages on apartments in an elegant part of town. It all gave the firm more leverage. The loss of your salary was such a terrifying prospect that they could do anything they wanted to you, and you would take it, like the fraternity pledges in the movie Animal House who replied to each blow of the paddle with, "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"
Nor was it simply a matter of money. Many were also bound by chains of status. They believed that you were either "on the track" or not. If you weren't a banker, a consultant, or a lawyer at a big-name firm, you would be seen as a loser by your parents, or worse, by the people you went to college with. No one would want to marry you.
We had known a few people who had become teachers or academics or would-be filmmakers. It was a cute and daring thing to do right out of school. But if you didn't want to be a nobody at 28, you were supposed to get serious and get a JD or an MBA. Friends who didn't get this became embarrassing. You couldn't really mix them with other friends who were successful, so you lost track of them. And they all disappeared—presumably into unfancy neighborhoods, where they were engaged in a desperate struggle against poverty and humiliation.
Such thinking was less prevalent among those associates who came from wealthy, long-established families. On a presumably unconscious level, the firm understood this, and therefore recruited heavily from among those who were the first in their families to go to college. It wasn't just that lawyers from the outer boroughs were hungrier. Being associated with a famous name meant more to them. It was a bigger part of who they were. In terms of leverage, it gave the firm an extra twist of the wrench.
Our firm had what it called an "open-door policy." "It's so anybody can ask anyone else a question at any time," my smooth "partner-advisor" explained with a mirthless smile. It did not mean we were part of one big, happy, cooperative family. It meant you had to have your office door open all the time so they could make sure you weren't reading the paper or making personal phone calls. Or worse, talking to headhunters in a desperate attempt to get out.
We all believed that our phone calls were being taped. (This was years before The Firm became a best-seller or a movie.) We would joke about it. Having complained about a partner's atrocity, you would say, "Well, if they play this tape my career is over" and laugh. Then you would put the phone down, feeling sick at your indiscretion.
The only time you weren't being watched was in the library or when you visited word processing in the working-class ghetto on the windowless third floor. The people down there, the proofreaders and photocopying guys, seemed to lead a carefree, jolly existence when their numbers weren't being halved by downsizing. Visiting them, I could breathe again. At first they were suspicious of any "suit." But if you avoided the temptation to be an asshole with the only people lower than you on the totem pole, they could save your life. Many times I was in a crisis, and Maria from Borough Park would put my stuff on the top of the pile. The jerks had theirs put at the bottom.
It was a terrible epiphany after spending so many thousands of dollars and working so hard to realize that the people I sometimes envied the most at the firm were the security guards. They stood all day in the huge glass-walled lobby under a giant piece of hideous pop art. They saw the sun and the sky all day. They saw the traffic and the people shopping. And they went home when their eight-hour shifts were over.
We, on the other hand, were all either pale and fat or pale and skinny. Day/night, weekend/weekday were distinctions that had lost all meaning. On the subway one day I heard a girl make a disparaging remark about a man having a "lawyer's body." We had the shadowed eyes you associate with heroin addicts. The only ones among us who weren't soft and flabby were the running fanatics. The firm encouraged its employees to run the marathon, especially if they had a chance of winning, as one partner had done a few years ago. It had something to do with the masochistic discipline involved.
At my boarding school every boy with four working limbs was forced to play rugby, in the traditional belief that the experience would build "character." Those who used a doctor's note to get out of it were marked forever as outsiders and malingerers. In the firm we were similarly expected to take part in, or at least watch, summer intra-firm softball. Softball was played with summer associates. Like the long, expensive lunches, the outings to country clubs, and the theater trips, softball games were part of a recruiting process that involved the construction of a Potemkin law firm between the beginning of June and the end of August. They were therefore an orgy of fake bonhomie, forced sportsmanship, and hail-fellow-well-met post-game beer drinking. Also an opportunity for some of the partners to "get to know" the more attractive female summer associates. The pretty ones inevitably received offers at the end of the summer, and often their affairs with their married sponsors lasted for several years.
Basketball, on the other hand, was played for real against the best that rival firms could offer. No one held back. People were crude, rude, and competitive to a psychotic degree. One of our partners was ejected by security guards from another firm's building after assaulting one of his opponents, screaming at the referee, refusing to leave the game, and overturning a table.
The partners were obsessed by team sports in inverse proportion to their athletic abilities. Any associate who had played in college or professional sports—and the recruiters had a weakness for such men—was fawned over endlessly. The young female associates who rose the quickest were those who could reel off baseball stats and name all the Heisman Trophy winners of the past 20 years. And, of course, sports metaphors sprinkled every conversation. The firm preferred "team players," but everyone had to be a "potential quarterback."
Partly in obedience to the dictates of some eighties business guru, our departments were renamed "teams." This did not cause them to resemble teams in any way. After all, just to survive you had to play a zero-sum game. I'd worked in Hollywood and in restaurant kitchens and had traveled through a Latin American civil war. But this was the jungle. To paraphrase La Rochefoucauld, it was not enough to be seen to succeed; others had to fail. If something went wrong, you didn't hesitate to load the blame on someone beneath you in the hierarchy. If things went well, you ruthlessly took as much credit as you could get away with.
The "team leaders" maintained esprit de corps through the careful application of terror and a sustained and successful effort to divide and rule. Some made no secret of their wish to get rid of as many of us as possible and have the rump then work twice as hard. They longed for the day, presumably not far off, when we would all be replaced by clever computer software.
Lying was a way of life—a necessity and therefore a virtue. When a partner came into my office and told me that he had a "very interesting assignment" for me, I knew for certain that it would involve mindless, repetitious, stunningly dull work. Of course, none of what I did as an associate would be regarded by anyone on the outside as "interesting." I mean, it was better than staring at the wall of a cell or watching ants walk across the ceiling. But if it was officially designated as "interesting," then it would turn out to be crushingly boring. And it was my duty to pretend that I was excited at the prospect of another assignment. Once engrossed in, say, counting the pages of a document that was incompatible with our computer system, I would have to show enthusiasm for the task. And when it was finally done, having taken over my nights and weekends, I would have to show profound gratitude.
Our corporate culture required the show of enthusiasm in all circumstances. A partner would come into your office and ask if you had any plans for the weekend. The correct answer was "no." And you would then be given an assignment to fill your empty Saturday and Sunday. The first time I was asked the question, I mumbled something about having hoped to go to Vermont. The young partner, who was nicknamed "Dave the Barracuda," looked at me with a combination of incredulity and sympathy, as if I had just confessed to a subnormal IQ. "It's a rhetorical question," he explained with an exasperated sigh, before proceeding to assign me 20 hours of research.
Every week we had to fill out a form saying how many hours we had billed the week before and for which client. If you put down a number that suggested you had enjoyed an easy week, the assignments partner would soon wander through your open door and ask if you were busy. It was another rhetorical question: it meant that you were about to become extremely busy. It also meant that there was an incentive not to work too fast. The idea was to charge as many billable hours to clients as would seem reasonable sometime in the future. If you worked too fast, the firm would not be getting its money's worth, and you would be rewarded immediately with another assignment. So our progress was sedate even when we were billing over 100 hours a week.
Sometimes we junior associates were given secretarial work to do on the weekends. It made sense for the partnership. Our salaries were high and fixed; secretaries cost overtime. The work had to be done, and you could charge some or all of it to the client as if it were real legal work at $200 an hour. None of us could complain, because a single complaint, even a look of resentment, was a "CDM"—a career-damaging move. You would blow your chances of partnership. You would sacrifice your twenties and early thirties for nothing. They would keep you on as a slave for seven years, getting more and more out of you as the dream of partnership came closer, and then make you walk the plank with ill-concealed amusement.
The ex-hippies were the worst people to work for. If you went into a forty-something partner's office and saw a picture of him with hair down to his shoulders, you were in trouble. You would be dealing with someone whose cynicism was boundless, a shark in pinstripes, a creature to whom decency was just an old-fashioned superstition favored by the old, the foolish, and the weak.
For a while my own department was run by a bankruptcy lawyer we called "Caligula" for his capriciousness and the pleasure he took in torturing the vulnerable. Caligula was short and vain and bore an extraordinary resemblance to John Gotti, the New York gangster known as the "Dapper Don." It was a resemblance he took pains to cultivate. He wore only Armani suits and would noisily send his secretary off to Saks for ties and handkerchiefs.
Some mornings he was genial. He would pop into your office for a friendly, slightly awkward chat. Other times you could hear his screaming on distant floors. Anything could set him off. A friend of mine named George had joined the firm as an associate in his late thirties. He was overweight, balding, and single, and desperately aware of all three. George had foolishly enlisted the help of one of Caligula's tough-talking female cronies in composing a singles ad for New York magazine. When Caligula found out, he teased the poor fellow relentlessly, adding the advertisement to his usual jibes about baldness. George was clever and witty and was given the most intellectually demanding assignments, but he remained the butt of relentless bullying. It took months of abuse before he got up the courage to attempt a mild jibe at his chief tormentor.
One morning, Caligula came in after 9:30 with the collar of his suit coat twisted over. George went up to him nervously, fixed his collar, and said to him, "Not quite the epitome of sartorial elegance today, eh, Andrew?" Whereupon Caligula whirled round and shouted at the top of his voice, "You fucking asshole! You are this close to losing your job" (holding two fingers close together).
In theory, the hierarchy within the firm was simple. On the one hand, there were the attorneys. And on the other, there were the support staff: secretaries, photocopiers, messengers, paralegals, computer technicians, librarians, and receptionists. In practice the hierarchies were extremely complex and could shift suddenly. But one thing was made fairly clear, and that was that associates belonged with the employees, though many insisted on being deceived by the symbolism of the suits they wore. Associates weren't even at the top of the employee hierarchy. Cuts in support staff meant that attorneys now had to share secretaries—all of whom were survivors who understood perfectly well how valuable they now were to the firm. Some would only get around to typing up documents for lawyers with genuine clout. If you wanted to make an issue of this, it was rapidly made clear that any partner forced to choose between a reasonably competent secretary and a junior associate would unhesitatingly fire the associate. You alienated your secretary at the risk of your career. Some of them achieved extraordinary power, like Stasi agents or Sejanus, captain of the Praetorian Guard.
The end of the eighties came as a terrible surprise to many of the yuppie partners. They had no experience of economic downturns. Their personalities had been forged in the glory days of premium billing, when competing takeover clients threw money in the air the way Haile Selassie used to throw pennies out his limousine window. They had sacrificed everything to gain the partnership. In the eighties a partnership had meant a million or more a year. Suddenly, 1989 came around, and partners were making only $250,000. They had mortgages on Park Avenue apartments to keep up. Something had gone horribly wrong.
Their anger was palpable. In many cases it took on a hysterical tone. It was someone's fault. Everybody else was being paid too much. They fired 20 percent of the support staff, promising that it was a one-time measure. Eighteen months later they did it again. Now there weren't enough receptionists to answer ringing telephones. Documents began to get lost. But the rationalizations had only just begun. There were still inefficient, wasteful elements to be purged.
It was the associates' turn next. This had once been a "white shoe" firm. In other words, it was old, had once been ethnically exclusive, and had an unspoken tradition that you just didn't fire lawyers unless they did something really bad, like commit a felony. If they were no good, or didn't fit in, you gave them a couple of years to find another job. It was one of the perks of being a corporate lawyer instead of an investment banker. Bankers made more money but had to be braver because they could get the push at any time. Lawyers were more risk-averse; they had chosen security over the really big bucks.
All this went out the window. The Young Turks insisted that heads must roll. No one had any experience in the mass firing of colleagues, and no one wanted to claim it as his idea. So management consultants trooped in, at great expense. After several weeks of writing reports and inputting data, they decided that the firm should cut 10 percent of its workforce. The office held its collective breath. No team leader was willing to make the first move. This was Caligula's moment of glory. On the night of the long knives, five associates in my department were called in and told they had six months to find new jobs. One of them was my office mate. He had just persuaded his pregnant wife to give up her job in Rochester and move to Manhattan.
When an investment bank fires people for economic reasons, it says so. Those who are sacked quickly get jobs on the Street if there are any around. Law firms, however, are terrified to admit that they might have financial problems. Clients might leave them. Law students might shun them. So they put it about that the people they fire are just no damn good. They become unemployable.
The Young Turks took a breather after the purge of associates. They enjoyed the fear on the faces of those who remained. They hadn't had such fun since Woodstock. But the fact remained that they were not making the kind of money they felt they deserved. So now it was the turn of the older partners. The forty-somethings began to complain openly to associates about the "deadwood." Rumors of another impending purge spread. You cannot fire partners without a vote of the whole partnership. So you force them out.
The Young Turks had taken control of the compensation committee, and they simply gave the deadwood a smaller and smaller draw of the profits until the humiliation became unbearable. If this treatment failed to bring about resignation, there was always "internal exile." The unfortunate person would be transferred to another department and made to work for another partner as a quasi-associate or, worst of all, assigned to a project that meant having to make frequent trips to some godforsaken place, like Kazakhstan, with its appalling weather and worse food. A few months usually did the trick; 13 partners were thus given the hint to leave. The list was a secret but somehow became known to every associate in the building.
It was this final purge that pushed me over the edge. There's a limit anyway to the number of ties you can buy to make yourself feel better about your life. The jokes about lawyers take their toll. And the fact that nobody was ever impressed when I dropped the name of my employer at cocktail parties—those few I attended—didn't help. It seemed that only law students and their parents thought it was a big deal to work in a Wall Street megafirm. Anybody who had had the slightest contact with corporate law, from investment bankers to secretaries to dancers-cum-proofreaders, just felt sorry for us. Our amazingly high turnover meant that over two years most of the people I liked quit or were fired.
Others, the real unfortunates, were broken to the system. Once the cream of the Ivy League, they had been told too often that they were useless, that they were lucky to have a job at all. Years of semi-brainless paperwork while their college peers were starting businesses or making movies had dissolved their self-confidence. After three or four years the outside world had come to seem a terrifying place. Some claimed they were trying to get out, but one look at their eyes told the whole story.
One of my friends who remained told me that she had always planned to quit after two years, but somehow after four and a half years, she was still there. She just didn't have the time to look for a new job. And, in any case, as a fifth-year, her salary had just gone up by another $20,000. It is no coincidence that your salary starts making bigger jumps after your fourth year. The firm knows that it is at that point that most associates start seriously to consider leaving for smaller firms, so they up the ante. The prospect of being trapped like this scared me. But leaving seemed even more frightening.
Then a friend at Sullivan & Cromwell quit his job and went to Vail for a season before leaving for Hollywood in search of fame and fortune. He called me one morning from Colorado. He was working 30 hours a week in a mountainside store for a season ticket and a small salary. "It sounds crazy," he told me, "but I have no problem getting up for work at 7am here, and when I was practicing, I could barely make it in by 10."
Still I stayed on, mindful of what Dave the Barracuda had said to a senior associate who resigned when forced to move from L.A. to New York: "You'll be poor." Then on a whim I spent eight of my precious vacation days on an Outward Bound alpine mountaineering course in the California Sierras. Part of the course involved rock climbing. I had always been scared of heights, but I did it anyway. As I clung to a granite rock face 100 feet up, it occurred to me that if I could do this, I could quit my job and survive.
So I took my parachute and jumped while I still could.

The Michael Vick affair proves the NAACP is racist

2007-08-23T14:11:00.000-07:00

The NAACP, in a continuing effort to marginalize themselves and prove that the double-standards that exist in our society on both sides of the race issue continue to exist, has gone public with a plea that Vick be allowed to play football again.

Now, to be honest, I'm not sure he shouldn't play football again. It's not like the steroid infested morons who populate our sports aren't already dingy and disgusting. The mock outrage at this point is ridiculous. I don't follow sports and would really rather play them than watch them, but I would be willing to bet this week there will be various thugs who assault people, commit drug offenses and whatnot and will suffer no ill effects on their career. Why should Vick?

If there was one even standard, then sure, he should be held to it. But I'm quite certain there is not.

However, the real issue is the NAACP turning yet another non-racial issue into a racial one. The guy has committed some vicious, inhumane acts. Drowning dogs, electrocuting them, and various other examples of his sick mentality. I don't care where he is from. There is no excuse.

Yet you would think the NAACP could wait until he has served his sentence to start making demands. But do they? No. In an example of how utterly clueless they are, they already are making a fuss, with their righteous indignation and veneer of respectability.

Those of you who know me may recall my run-in with the NAACP. After breaking up a fight between two black students, I was placed on leave and they called for my job. My shitty 42k job in Vallejo California where I suffered daily abuse. Why wouldn't they believe the girl who had a cum. file a foot thick filled with disciplinary actions who had attacked the other black girl over me?

Further vindication

2007-08-16T13:33:00.001-07:00

As I pointed out years ago to anyone who would listen and on this blog in 2005, the housing market had become unmoored from reality. There were loans being made for houses which were not, and could not be, worth as much as people wanted to believe. The mortgage industry and real estate marketers sold two things: fear and foolish self-confidence. Everyone who owned a home believed they were geniuses, and the only way to go was up. Everyone who didn't were convinced that they needed to get in before things got really crazy.

But the truth is that the bubble was created by the real estate industry, and now the government and taxpayers will be bailing out not only the lenders who sold these loans, but the homeowners who foolishly believed the lies. I personally will not vote for any candidate who bails out the mortgage industry, who purposefully put themselves in this situation, and our economy, with the idea that the government was always there.

This is from my blog in May of 2005

2007-08-16T13:31:00.000-07:00

From the bubble camp part two...
"Existing homes were sold in April at the fastest pace in history as the nation's red-hot housing market just kept getting hotter.ADVERTISEMENTThe National Association of Realtors reported Tuesday that existing single-family homes and condominiums were sold at a seasonally adjusted rate of 7.18 million units last month, a gain of 4.5 percent from a revised March sales pace of 6.87 million units."This comes from yahoo news, and the article admits this raises fears of the housing bubble a little higher and provides evidence that people are moving into the market for speculative reasons. Seeing a link from "realtor.org" I couldn't help but wonder what they had to say. I know that you should never ask a barber if you need a haircut, or ask a realtor if you need to buy a house, but just to measure how even-handed they would be, I perused some articles. I found the following: Found on REALTOR.org"Housing Bubble... Molony 202-383-1177 wmolony@realtors.org Housing Groups Refute Housing "Bubble,"Laud Greenspan Testimony WASHINGTON (July 19, 2002)?Federal Reserve Board ...Housing Groups Refute Housing 'Bubble,' Laud Greenspan ...... Housing Groups Refute Housing 'Bubble,' Laud Greenspan Testimony WASHINGTON (July19, 2002)?Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan's testimony before ...Industry Watch: Housing Starts Soar... Law Challenged US Office Market Slumps Strong Home Prices, No Bubble, Building boomHousing Starts Soar Construction makes its biggest gains in seven years. BY ...Industry Watch: Strong Home Prices, No Bubble... Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan discounted the possibility of a "housingbubble" artificially inflating home prices, during recent testimony to the ...Industry Watch: Price Bubble Won't Burst... says study. BY TOM DOOLEY If you've been worrying about the housing price bubblebursting, you can relax, says a report from Harvard University's Joint Center ...Industry Watch: No Bubble, Says Fed Governor... Community Bankers of America, noting that "There's little risk of a US housingbubble, even though it's unreasonable to expect home prices to repeat their 7 ...July News Releases... of the exclusive Realtor® Platinum Visa® card. Housing Groups Refute Housing "Bubble,"Laud Greenspan Testimony (7/22) "The nation's home builders have said ...Industry Watch: Bubble? Forget it!... to support housing growth, say economists. BY TOM DOOLEY "A housing bubble aboutto burst!!" Don't bet on it! That's the word from CNN/Money, which has noted ...Industry Watch: Homebuilding Booms Until 2020... the major concern for the real estate industry shouldn't be a housing "bubble,"which he considers unlikely, but a widening gap between housing "haves" and ...Industry Watch: Housing Stock Value Exceeds $12.2 Trillion... by Dooley: Return to Recession Unlikely Homebuyer's Interest Grows Price BubbleWon't Burst Housing Starts Soar, Fed takes stock Housing Stock Value Exceeds ..."Somehow I'm not surprised...or impressed by their objectivit

The practice of law jumping the shark

2007-08-07T12:40:00.000-07:00

Part-time, Full-time
Employer:

XXXXXXX (to protect these people from further ridicule)
Job Title:

Law Clerk
Description:

San Francisco (Financial District) intellectual property / patent-strategy firm looking for entrepreneurial law clerk for researching and strategizing early-stage technology/business ventures. Duties include: emerging market/standards analysis; research on and drafting of contracts and legel documentation related to business formation/growth; commercialization / IP licensing; trademark, copyright & tradesecrect issues; also defensive / offensive patent prosecution of pending applications before the USPTO.
Candidate Requirements/Experience:

Student must have MBA, Economics, BSEE / CS, Chem Eng or Physics background and / or USPTO licensed (or eligible). Patent agent preferred but not a must.

Prefer student with strong business and engineering / science background.
Position to Start:

Immediately
Geographic Preference:

San Francisco/Bay Area, California
Desired Class Level(s):

1D/2E, 2D/3E
Practice Area(s):

Intellectual Property
Compensation Type:

Hourly
Rate of Pay:

$13 - $15 DOE

2007-07-29T13:21:00.000-07:00

Actual Legal Quotes & Lawyer Jokes

On Law School Exams:
Matt Rengel: So, what'd you think of the test?
Nick Kriegel: Well, on a scale of 1 to sodomy, I feel like a man with a life sentence.

Trial Transcirpts:
"Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

"The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?"

"Were you present when you picture was taken?"

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A: I have been since early childhood.

"Was it you or your brother who was killed in the war?"

"Did he kill you?"

"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

Q: So the date of conception was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Q: Whis is the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

Q: How old is your son -- the one living with you?
A: 38 or 35... I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: 45 years.

Prosecutor: Can you identify the man who held up your store?
Witness (pointing at defendant): Yes. That's him.
Defendant (leaping up): I should have blown your [bleeping] head off... [pause] if I'd been the one that was there.

Judge: Please begin.
Counsel: Thank. [to witness] Miss, while you have, if you do have -- you still -- oh, you don't.
Judge: That was a great start, counsel.

Q: When you were driving on the Interstate, how fast were you going?
A: I never looked at the speedometer. But the speed limit in that part of the Interstate is 65 and I wasn't going 65. I rarely go 65.
Q: All right. I want to take us back to the scene of the bar for a moment again. [The witness starts to leave the stand.]
A: No, you don't have to get up. I just want to take you back there mentally.

Fishisms (Ally McBeal):
New firm policy, listen up! Anybody who sues this firm or me, personally, we all drop whatever cases we are working on. We devote all of our intellectual and creative efforts to ruining that person's life. Are we clear? I don't want to stop short with just getting even. Retribution is not strong enough. Ruin, that is the goal. Irreversible, irreputable, irrational ruin! New firm policy!

Helping others is never more beneficial than when it's in your own self-interest.

Bygones.

Never trust second thoughts. Next thing you know there'll be a third and a fourth... you'll be thinking forever!

It's not winning, it's winning ugly that matters.

Under that robe, besides a phenomenal body, is a good judge! Act like one!

If you don't kiss a girl on the first date, your a gentleman. If you don't kiss her on the second date, you're gay!

Problem is just a bleak word for a challenge.

Let me tell you something, I didn't become a lawyer because I like the law, the law sucks. It's boring, but it can also be used as a weapon. You want to bankrupt somebody? Cost him everything he's worked for? Make his wife leave him, even make his kids cry... yeah, we can do that.

Women as a rule hate pretty women, but women as a rule also sympathize with other women victims because they are women. Are you with me? It's like this: women want other women to be destroyed, but they don't want to be the actual destroyers themselves.

The bigger it is, the more of his she doesn't want, that's all. Fishism.

It's not my style to care about others, but what's going on?

I don't mind losing, it's high profile losing that is not good.

I can't do anything about it, but I'd be happy to sympathize.

Piles and piles of money. If I help some along the way great, but mainly I'm in this for the piles, heaps, the really big piles.

You've got to remember, you're not who you are. You're only what other people think of you.

I plan to have character one day, great character, but if you want to be rich you better get the money before the scruples set in.

Sex for men: when it's right, it's right; when it's wrong, it's still right.

Personally, I hate sexual harassment laws. The original force behind them were the disgruntled lesbians who felt they were not given the same opportunities - along with ugly women, who were jealous of pretty women who got all the breaks in the work force. My cause to action is simple, women are victims. They need special help. Look at the evolution of these sexual harassment laws. What we are really saying is women really should qualify under the Federal Disability Act. They are less able. They cannot cope with romance at the office. They cannot contend with having to do a job and have a man smile at them. It is too much. Look where we use to be, first quid pro quo, then hostile environment, and now Seinfeld episodes. Women can't take it; they bruise too easily. The laws are here to protect the weak and most vulnerable in society. She is woman, protect her!

Make enough money and everything else will follow.

There's no embarrassing way to earn money.

For whatever reason, people would never trust me, so I started be unscrupulous on purpose, and that way, I felt in control of people's reactions.

Personal questions don't bother me. I just lie.

We have an excellent chance to boost our profile and erode the First Amendment in the process. It's not often we get a case where principal coincides with profit, and I'm not about to take time out just because I've breached some trust thing you and I had going!

Richard: "John..a second of your time..we started this firm with the same dream, did we not?"
John: "Money."
Richard: "In pursuit of that dream we agreed that I would be the shark, the hammer, the ass, and you would be the pillar of dignity, this was the deal..have I not been every bit the ass you envisioned?"
John: "And more."

There comes a time in everyone's life when you have to go forth and be vicious!

Tell me... what kind of lie works here?

Speak not from strength but from estrogen.

Ouch. That would hurt if I cared.

Good news should never go uncelebrated.

The reason John and I started this firm was because we wanted to go to work everyday where it was fun: make money, throw office parties, a fun place to work. I realize employees will always gripe. Part of an employee is to not like people staring at pretty girls, and not to like tactics used to win cases. It is the nature of the employee to complain. There is always some place better. This lawsuit carries the gripe too far. It saps the fun out of it for me. And since fun was the point, anybody who isn't happy, leave. And if you all go, we will just have to start another firm. There is always another one.

We just love to live in a politically correct world that is so evolved. Where did we pass a law against common sense? This is a French bistro. When people go there, they go not just to eat but to dine. The ambiance of culture they want to feel elite and sophiscated. A good gay waiter can do that. They have that snobbish little entitlement thing going. People like that." "Gays are elitist snobs?"
"The waiter kind are. First they are smarter. They grow up reading more books, probably trying to figure out the answer as to why they are homosexual.
Plus, they are terrible at sports which gives them more time to study. They are smart, they want to work in the arts. They end up as waiters, way over qualified, bitter, snobby. People have come to expect this when ordering a fruity wine.

Lend me your shoe Georgia. If I wanted to sell this, better to have you model this or me? Everything is about presentation, same for resturants as for shoes. What's inside doesn't count, its how they look. Fishism.

If we win we are heros, we pulled off a miracle. If we lose the wacko goes to jail, justice is served. It is a win/win!

Jokes:

A paralegal, an associate, and a partner of a prestigious law firm are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the paralegal. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with Brad Pitt."
Poof! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the associate. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Iai on the other."
Poof! He's gone.
The partner says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and began putting them on.
The second lawyer looked at him and said, "you're crazy -- you'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."

The tiresome jury selection process continued, each side hotly contesting and dismissing potential jurors. A man was called for his question session.
"Property holder?"
"Yes, I am, Your Honor."
"Married or single?"
"Married for twenty years, Your Honor."
"Formed or expressed an opinion?"
"Not in twenty years, Your Honor."

Supreme Court: The place where the finest legal minds in the country gather -- to serve as law clerks to the justices. -- Daniel R. White

"Do you claim this man hit you with malice aforethought?" asked the lawyer.
"Look, you can't mix me up that easy," replied the witness. "I said he hit me with a Ford, and I'm sticking to it."

Top Ten Things That Sound Nasty in Law, but Really Aren't:
10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge!
8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?

23 conversations with myself

2007-07-28T16:36:00.000-07:00

I walked down the pier at Fort Mason and looked out over the bay. Like a lot of days in San Francisco, the sun slowly burned through the mist leaving the blue sky and vestiges of gray mist. This usually took place in the afternoon. I looked out over green waters of the bay at the shit-stained prison island and the green hills of Sausalito; the orange bridge spanning the gap between sunny Marin County and cold, gray San Francisco. Two worlds apart. The place you want to live and the place you have to work.

I came around the corner and a black man was digging through the garbage, gathering bottles and cans together. He didn't glance up or acknowledge me. I couldn't help but observe that this was one of those moments where typically one knows they are supposed to say to themselves "at least that isn't me." but it seemed dishonest. It seemed disrespectful of my genuine state of pain and suffering. I really couldn't be certain that the peaks and valleys in his life were higher or deeper than mine.

There are, after all, some things worse than death. A soldier goes off and dies in battle, his honor remains intact. A man begins life and winds up digging in the garbage for money. And then some of us have dreams that are so close to seeing happen that we can smell it like the salt in the air of the bay. We can feel it like the sun burnishing ones' neck and warming the ears. The tragedy of a man's life is not that he dies, it's what dies within him while he lives.

I stood at the corner of the pier facing the "Golden" gate. God knows why they call it that. It's more like burnt orange. And not a particularly large or spectacular bridge as far as bridges go. Although I admit that the view is gorgeous against the backdrop of the bay. It's beauty was lost on me that day.

A seagull stood a few feet from me, unafraid.

I looked down the pier toward where the others waited. Gathered in clumps, laughing in empty, hollow tones at the dark, all moving toward something they thought they wanted, something that had invested so much time, money, and effort into, and thinking it was somehow the answer to their problems. I thought that. I guess, in a way, maybe I still did. I knew why I was there. To re-write history. To prove I wasn't a flake. To prove I mattered. To prove that people should listen to me. To have some power over my life. To put myself in position where I didn't have to be beholden to so many of the incredibly stupid people who somehow end up in positions of power and authority.

I didn't know why the others were there. I would guess many of them were just doing what their parents wanted. Many of them just wanted a good job. A large proportion of them wanted, like me, to re-write history with one important distinction; they saw themselves as victims everywhere they went, and acted accordingly. These people wanted to be assholes for a living. I knew the perpetrators in my life were, and are, few and far between. They saw everyone as perpetrators.

A seagull landed on the pier with a small crab in his mouth. I moved closer, and he walked off, jealously guarding his prize. I waited until he moved further away and felt safe, hidden behind one of the wooden pilings, and then glanced around it.

He jabbed at the crab, ripping each of his legs off, and then swallowing them one by one. Jab, swallow, jab, swallow, until the dying crab was left with one large claw and a leg or two that weakly waived in the air. The gull struck at his shell, cracked it open, and began to extract his meat. I felt odd sympathy for the gull, though more in touch with the demise of the crab. Of course it wasn't until I spoke with my wife later that she pointed out I was a Cancer. I've never been a very good Californian.

I looked again at the others. There are those who are comfortable with the role of destroyer. That is, after all, what we do. We are hungry, we need to feed, and such is the way of the world. To pretend that we don't need to eat, and that others don't need to suffer for that, is to not understand the order of things. There will always be the victor, and the vanquished in this universe. There will always be the winners and losers. There will always be those who go hungry, and those who are consumed. It was a small, silly epiphany I supposed, that no matter how complex we think we are, no matter how different we think we are, we are all digging in the garbage or picking the legs off a crab, one by one. Jab and swallow, jab and swallow.

But I wondered what I wanted by legacy to be. Going through the whole process was without question, horrifying. Each day left me gasping for air as panic engulfed me. I feared I was dying of heart failure constantly, although the physicians said nothing was wrong with me. Walking to my car, sitting in my house, at any time, any place it would strike and leave me in the throes of panic, which I would fight off in a few minutes, or at worst, an hour or so. At times I would go and sit in front of the hospital like a fool, waiting for it to subside.

All of this for the pleasure of working ten hours straight with a fifteen minute break and eating processed tuna over a garbage can and getting yelled at by some complete raving bitch. I guess I should have chosen a different career, like getting divorced for a living. That's my legacy. Beholden to not just stupid people, but VERY stupid people.

For some strange reason everywhere I went there were robots for the last several weeks. I went to see that silly movie "Transformers" in order to turn my brain off. A day later I opened a practice performance test, which involved a contract dispute with a toy store over a few hundred toy robots with a picture of a robot taking up an entire page. Yesterday I'm reading Yahoo News and there is some story about robots clearing landmines. Insert observation by psychologist who says you just started noticing them more due to your mental state.

I watched the others began to move toward the entrance of the pier, and shaking my head, followed them in.

Fair and Balanced!

2007-05-12T09:32:00.000-07:00

Check this out...

FYI

2007-05-01T21:03:00.000-07:00

JDJIVE is gone and the mystery surrounding exactly why goes on.

A new version called "JD UNDERGROUND" now exists. Same crap, different day.

A compilation of reasons why myspace sucks

2007-04-22T00:44:00.000-07:00

I would just like to point out that myspace sucks. An assistant at work was scrolling through her page the other day, and I couldn't help but glance at it myself. I have seen it before, and it really never ceases to amaze me how incredibly phony it is.

Intrigued at the utter stupidity (and I have posted on this subject before), I checked out what others said about it. What I found was that most of the people who complained about it, complained about the software features. Tech dork stuff that I didn't and don't give a rats' ass about.

What fascinated me was the phoniness. The utter "I am so awash in the passions of life and aren't you impressed by me" that I couldn't help but be embarrassed for almost every single person who has posted all the ridiculous artwork, the music ambushing me as I arrive at a page, and utterly generic approaches taken...PeOpLe WhO CaPiTaLiZe every other letter like it's cool... Here are some of the comments I enjoyed:

-----------------
've noticed a disproportionately larger amount of guys commenting on hot girls than there are girls commenting on hot guys. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it appears more common for the guys to be guilty of this. So guys listen up. Shut the fuck up. I'll repeat this in case you thought you misread me. Shut the fuck up. If you see a hot girl on MySpace, do whatever it is you were going to do with your hands and move on. Maybe if your balls have descended send her a message if you want. But there is nothing sadder than three pages or so of guys going on about how hot a girl is in a photo. It's like the sausage party that never was. The ability to comment on hot girls is not a free pass to make yourself and the rest of us sound like we're retarded. Girls don't like suck ups, and using such witty lines like "u r hottt" isn't going to do anything to boost your sex life. Click here for help on that.

This one is to girls specifically. If you say something like "contact me" at the end of your profile, don't be surprised or complain when some creepy loser who could pass for Gollum messages you. I saw a bunch of profiles where it was a hot girl who said something like "if you want a good time, contact me" and then she has a blog post complaining about people wanting to message her and add her as a friend. Well what the hell did you think was going to happen? Mr. Hot Guy to come and message you on MySpace? It's not going to happen. If you need MySpace to find a date you have bigger problems to deal with than this imaginary Mr. Right's penis size. Much bigger.

Are there stalkers on MySpace? Of course. Horny losers + Internet Connection + semi-attractive girls = trouble. I think that was the only formula I remember from Algebra.

http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/07/07/173810.php
====================
yspace sucks. Still.

From Wonkette:

MySpace is a wonderful social networking phenomenon in which millions of ~~retarded people~~ regular Americans have their own atrocious blinking-ad-covered websites, each visually horrific “home page” bleating out some awful pop music and tagged with the illiterate gibberish comments (or cut-and-pasted rap lyrics) and half-naked cam-phone pictures of America’s fattest teens. It’s a place where born-again illiterate Jesus freaks, tattooed and pierced illiterate suburban kids, fake gangsta illiterate urban youth, orange-skinned horse-faced illiterate high-school dropout gals who aspire to celebrity sluthood or a career in the Army, violent illiterate psychopathic “Juggalos” and a bedeviled minority of depressed semi-literate goth & emo teens in the Midwest all come together to show us what the United States will be like once the current crop of old people dies off.

=====================

Grindhouse

2007-04-22T00:34:00.000-07:00

I realize that the subject of psychopaths and other types of mental illness, given the recent events in Virginia is a hot one. Suddenly I am more aware of their presence everywhere. It's like shopping for a car and seeing that same model everywhere. It isn't that there are more, you just notice it.

So I'm watching Tarantino's latest pile of crap down at the Raven theater, mildly entertained throughout most of it, but wincing, closing my eyes, and generally having difficulty with the tremendous gore and violence. While much of it is humorous, as usual, his movies don't have much more going on than that. There has been a slow downward spiral in his films since Pulp Fiction (which a friend of mine thought was an amazing classic, and I, not sophisticated enough to realize it.)

In any case, I laughed, I moaned, I had a fairly good time. The problem was that there was one other guy in the theater, and he did not say one word the entire time. After testicles flying, brains squirting, and moment after moment of exploding bodies, I became more than a little uncomfortable at the way in which he never reacted, ever. I became downright disturbed.

I finally reached a point in the movie, where the second feature started (the first was actually Rodriguez' film, and the second Tarantino) that I was so utterly creeped out by that dude that I had to leave. I glanced over my shoulder and he stared blankly ahead. Nondescript white mail, middle twenties, short brown hair and a neat, sporty jacket.

I will admit I was also bored. But I would have been a lot more likely to stay if it wasn't for the instinctive, sixth sense feeling that something was amiss....

Virginia Tech massacre

2007-04-16T20:11:00.000-07:00

April 16, 2007, we are yet again witness to another massacre by a gunman. When I say "gunman" I am repeating a term that always strikes me as odd. What, and who, is exactly a "gunman"?

I recall a science fiction book I once read about a world where robots where commonplace. Occasionally one would go crazy and attack humans. Of course, no one could ever figure out why. It was obviously something in the circuitry.

This same approach seems to belie our efforts in dealing with these massacres. We don't assume that we are dealing with the same humans, with the same behaviors, developed over millions of years, and that our means of operation are different. We assume there is something different about us. It isn't our access to weapons that make killing easier, quicker, and by extension, more prone to our impulsive behavior. It's something incurable. That happens to be very convenient to the millions of middle-aged, white men whose bodies are slowly betraying them to age and who feel more secure knowing they have the means to take anyones' life, easily. Is it about freedom or fear?

A "gunman" speaks of an unstoppable automaton, a blank, staring machine a la Arnold Schwarzenneger, who simply goes from victim to victim, slaughtering all in his way. It does seem to describe the mindset and demeanor of many of these "gunmen".

There will be a lot of people falling all over themselves in the next couple of days. Police making excuses for their slow responses (and actually, I don't blame a single one for not rushing into a massacre like a hero. I would do the same thing. Why make more victims?). The NRA will be issuing their usual claptrap. The usual stream of diarrhea will emanate from the White House. Of course, if these people had been murdered by terrorists, soldiers would be parachuting into Iran. but as long as it's just a crazy kid from China, or whatever damaged misanthrope posing online with his firearms that we can write off as a lost cause, and that there is nothing anyone could have done, the story continues. Americans being killed by Muslims, now that is worrisome. Americans being inevitably killed by people with access to firearms are an important sacrifice to the tree of liberty, whose roots must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots...or random victims...

Good thing he had a gun...

2007-04-16T19:27:00.000-07:00

33 people dead at Virginia Tech and the gun control "debate" will be revisited. Gun freaks will be falling all over themselves trying to find some reason why

1. there is nothing we could every do to stop something like this
2. why armed college students would have been safer

It's gotten to the point where I can only sigh each time a new slaughter happens...

Mad TV - Medium

2007-04-14T13:41:00.001-07:00

Here it is...The worst actress ever...

Patricia Arquette: Worst Actress ever...

2007-04-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

Kudos to Brent Rasmussen whose blog I found this on, called "unscrewing the inscrutible".

I have often wondered exactly how people could honestly allow this horrible acting to continue unabated, and am still waiting for a rational explanation for how, exactly, this woman is still on television.

Defensive parents

2007-04-14T09:52:00.000-07:00

A lot of parents, like the idiot who spawned this particular thread, get defensive when challenged. But the answer to such behavior, by noted "child experts" like the one in this article is passive, and IMO guaranteed to get no results.
-----------------------
How should people "deal" with other people's annoying kids? How do they retaliate?
Most parents are defensive. Yes, they do get it, they know their kid is rude and either they are rude themselves and don't care about the effect that it has on you, or they've managed to avoid taking responsibility and want to live in ignorance. In other words, you'll probably be talking to a wall. But, I have found that sometimes being cagey on your part can be helpful. That is, saying something like, "Boy, my older one used to love to run up to people and burp in their faces also. In fact, he could burp the entire alphabet by the time he graduated from elementary school. The way that I got him to stop it was to...." and then give a suggestion or two. In this way you are taking the blame first (defensive folks like that — they hate to be criticized), and they just may listen. It's worth a try, but you have to be willing to take it on the chin initially.
-----------------------
I absolutely, positively could not disagree more. There is no nice way to say "you are an incompetent parent", or "you are an asshole". So you have the choice to either step up and confront the person, or avoid the conflict and let it happen. People who allow their kids to be rude and obnoxious are so themselves, and can even be dangerous. That being said, walking around in fear of such bullies is no way to live. Their kids will bully your kids, and their parents will bully you, unless you stand up to them. Slowly but surely we need to take this nation back from these assholes, and the more people stand up, the more they will realize THEY are the minority.

I recall a guy skiing into a ski lift line and almost knocking someone over who was in the line. Every skier knows you need to go slowly in such situations. When the guy called him on it, the rude person not only wouldn't admit it, he started getting aggressive and calling the guy an asshole. I stepped up, and with a few choice words, suddenly this jerk was outnumbered, and he backed off. That is what needs to happen with this parents. They need to be outnumbered and outgunned. But if nobody has the guts to do it, and we have "child experts" telling us their is a nice way to confront people who are raving assholes, it won't happen.

Bratty kids

2007-04-14T09:44:00.000-07:00

In this article a reporter writes an test where a woman and a child went around being obnoxious in various places, and videotaped the reaction to it. The shocking thing is that most people do exactly what I do, which is leave. While a few people confronted the parent, there certainly wasn't enough confrontation for me...
----------------------
CBS) For the second part of The Early Show series, "The Bratty Bunch," consumer correspondent Susan Koeppen wanted to see how people react to unruly children. She used hidden cameras to record child actors who behaved like brats and annoyed the people around them.

The social experiment began on a New York City bus when a boy kicked the seat of the lady sitting in front of him. The pretend mother ignored his behavior. Immediately, the woman asks him to stop. When he doesn't, she gets up and moves.

"I was thinking I was very glad I wasn't on an airplane and this was only going to be lasting about 20 minutes or so," she told Koeppen.

Another woman looked ready to explode but changed her seat instead of losing her temper. Another passenger scolded the boy.

"How many times do I have to ask you to stop kicking me?" she asked him.

When that didn't work, she simply glared at him.

"I was really disappointed at the parent not helping to discipline the kid," she said.

In her book, "Raising Respectful Children In a Disrespectful World," Jill Rigby says too many parents are tolerating bad behavior and they're creating a generation of "aristobrats."

Rude kids

2007-04-12T18:23:00.000-07:00

The following blog links a NY times article but then points out, as I have previously, that there isn't some kind of legitimate excuse for rude kids. The fact is that rude adults make rude kids, and the whole sense of entitlement with which so many of us walk through life creates this sense of entitlement in children. They don't respect strangers, and they think their kids should walk all over you too....

"The problem that I see with this theory? There are a lot of plainly rude parents out there raising rude kids. It’s not always about attention to the kids or overindulging. It’s about how the adults who are parents treat others in the presence of their children.

Teaching your kids to pick up their clothes and make polite conversation is fine, but if they don’t see US doing it, why should they?"

bingo

2007-04-10T19:34:00.000-07:00

cool.com

There is nothing worse than bad parents.

On a flight to Florida recently I had the opportunity to watch numerous parents interact with their children. Although I did see a few good parents who talked intelligently and respectfully to their kids. Most did not speak to their children at all and as a result had very little ability to guide or control the kids.

The couple sitting next to me had an 18 month old child who was able to say only about 10 words. He was a cute kid and was having great time pushing buttons. After the plane had taken off, the child began to scream. The mother immediately grabbed the child, looked him in the eye, and in a forceful whisper said, "LISTEN TO ME, LISTEN TO ME" The child stopped screaming and looked at his mother. In a stern whisper the mother demanded, "There will be no screaming on this flight. There are many people on this plane and it is not nice to scream. There will be NO screaming on this flight." Although the child couldn’t even speak, the mother spoke to him as if he was able to carry on normal conversation. She then asked her child, "Do you understand?" Holding him tightly she repeated, "Do you understand?" The child said in a high tone, "uuhhh." Which was clearly a "yes". The kid did not scream or cry for the rest of the flight!

Unfortunately most of the other parents on the flight simply did not talk to their children. When a child began to cry most parents would pick up the baby and shake it up and down. Sometimes these parents would repeatedly rub the child’s forehead and face. I am not sure what value shaking or rubbing has other than to distract the child so that it will forget what it was crying about. In the seats in front of me, I had to watch fat sweating parents pass their child back and forth, shaking and rubbing him over and over; the child cried for over an hour without the parents ever making an attempt to talk to the kid about what was bothering him or to help him solve his problems.

There were three kids about 8-12 years old sitting behind me, and they just kept fighting. As the fights escalated the parents would yell, "shut up" or "stop it", but they never asked the kids what they were fighting about or why they were fighting. Nor did they intervene to settle the escalating problems. Finally I couldn’t take it. I turned around and asked , "Are you guys gonna fight the whole trip?" They were terrified and could not look me in the eye. I really wanted an answer, so I just stared at them and asked again. Still none of them answered or looked up. I went back to my paper and the kids didn’t make a peep for the rest of the flight. If they were fighting about something real they would have answered, but the fighting was probably just some game which they quickly stopped playing after they saw it was bothering others.

- wcool.com
===============================

The author of this post should be amazed that the idiot parent who was the cause of this didn't suddenly become outraged and start berating him or her. It isn't the bad behavior that is so shocking, as much as the outrageous defense of bad behavior by people who honestly believe if they act angry enough, people will allow them to act this way.

By the way

2007-04-07T18:08:00.000-07:00

I would just like to mention that Glen Beck sucks ass.
===========

Ellison interview

In November 2006, Beck drew criticism on Keith Olbermann's Countdown for a part of his interview with then Congressman-Elect Keith Ellison of Minnesota, the first Muslim to be elected to the United States Congress in which he said "What I feel like saying is, 'Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies'"^[11] Olbermann named Beck the winner of the "Worst Person in the World" award for his comments,^[12] while Ellison shrugged the incident off. "It's just shock TV", he said. "Some pundits think they have to ask the most outrageous questions."^[13] On Jan. 9, 2007, at the Television Critics Association's semiannual press tour, Beck spoke with contrition about his comment to Ellison about what he felt like saying. Beck said it was "Quite possibly the poorest-worded question of all time. That might come from my lack of intelligence."

-Wikipedia

Yet another crappy parent...

2007-04-07T17:55:00.000-07:00

Here's a email from a friend on the same topic...

you can expand it to friends with poorly behaved children who come to your house too. We have one set of friends that we’ve artfully managed to not have their children over for two years (we always find a reason to meet elsewhere) because the last time they were over, their oldest son tried to ride my dog like a horse, complete with an attempt to jump off the couch on to our dog's back! When I said to him that he couldn’t do that in my house (nicely, I might add), his dad (hubbie's childhood friend) got huffy and said that his son was too young to understand that type of rule. Here’s the kicker – at the time, the son was FOUR.

==================
By the way, I will mention, yet again, that I have the necessary experience to judge whether parents are crappy or not without being one. I taught middle school and high school for ten years, which is actually 30 years of parent experience in the real world. I see how your kid acts without you around. That says a lot more about you than you could possibly know.

And to the anonymous blogger who complained about me not pointing out original text in the text; I thought it was obvious that it was not original based upon the fact that there was a link, standing alone, that led to the blog from which the quote came. As it is rather obvious that the blogger was the owner of the blog, I have deleted it and will make certain that I neither mention, link, or read your blog again.

I've had people take my writing, give me credit, but not post my link. I'd rather have my link any day on a post. But whatever. I thought the guys blog was pretty boring anyway.

tale of two families

2007-04-05T20:35:00.000-07:00

Tale of two families

Obnoxious kids and rude parents part two

2007-04-02T20:14:00.000-07:00

A restaurant owner takes on obnoxious kids...

March 22, 2007 — Have you ever found yourself counting the seconds until your check arrives at a restaurant? Not because the food, service or ambience were lacking, but because someone's child was running laps around the place, hiding under the tables, and practicing his dinosaur roar at ear-splitting volume.

Or maybe you've been on the other side, out to a family meal with the kids, proud of their behavior — which in any other situation might be called exemplary — only to be berated by a fellow diner who believes that children "should be seen and not heard"?

The moment probably doesn't rank among your top ten dining experiences. Whether they're well-behaved kids bored of waiting for their grilled cheese to arrive or poor-mannered brats hell-bent on ruining a meal for everyone within screaming distance, the friction created by kids in restaurants is something many of us have experienced.

In one Chicago community these tensions reached a boiling point when Dan McCauley, owner of a local cafe, A Taste of Heaven, decided he had had enough of children using his establishment as a playground.

Heaven and Hell

One afternoon, McCauley said, he caught a pair of kids scaling the walls of his restaurant while their parents sat nearby. As the group was leaving, McCauley confronted Julie, one of the supervising mothers, and told her that she and her children were no longer welcome in the cafe.

"I was so shocked," said Julie, who out of concern for the children's anonymity asked that her last name not be used. "It made me feel like I was in the second grade, having my knuckles whacked or something."

=========================

Notice the response was not "I my god, I am so sorry that I appeared so rude. How embarrassing. I promise this will never happen again". The answer was all about this woman, and her feelings, and that makes sense considering how self-centered her behavior was beforehand.
=========================

The following morning McCauley posted a sign on the front door, thinking it would be a simple solution. It read: "Children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices when coming to A Taste of Heaven"

To his astonishment, the sign quickly provoked a strong response within the community. "We had like 50 or 60 phone calls," McCauley said. "People stating that they were really offended, and they would never step foot in here again, which really surprised me." A local newspaper even wrote that a group of concerned parents was going to boycott the cafe.

================

The owner here has been vindicated internationally, and the groundswell of support continues to grow. The fact is that people are tired of being subjected to bad parenting and the results of them. I should mention that as I former high school and middle school teacher, I am far more qualified than the average parent give an opinion about what constitutes a good parent and a bad one. While many people are of the opinion that their ability to give birth gives them the god-given ability to parent, the fact remains that incompetent parents, like incompetent people, don't know they are incompetent, and in fact believe exactly the opposite.

The same skill set that is required to have consideration for others is the same skill set required to realize you are being inconsiderate. More importantly, just like the middle schoolers I taught, who wanted the benefit of being an adult without the responsibility, today's parents often want the privilege of being a parent without the responsibility.

This shocking conclusion is readily apparent at literally dozens of restaurants and open spaces literally blocks away from where you sit as we speak. Starbucks has become romper room. Any place that sells pizza is automatically a bad bet, and even upscale restaurants aren't immune to the scourge of bad parents with obnoxious kids.

This is, of course, a fabulous opportunity for anyone with capital to swoop in and make some cash. Just like a bar, people could have a safe, sane and relatively quiet place to sip coffee or eat lunch, without children charging up and down the aisles and screaming. You read it here first.

Don't expect anyone to develop any sac about this in the meantime. Just like any real societal change, it will take years for the pushback to be felt. After all, how long did it take for people to stand up to smokers?

Are they the same guy?

2007-03-14T20:26:00.000-07:00

Sheik Mohammed (Al Qaeda)

and

Wooly Willy

More bullshit

2007-03-12T21:27:00.000-07:00

Meet Charles Andrews

Charles’s philosophy in building his companies is based on a combined vision of urban residential real estate growth and the pragmatic skills required to develop and implement diversification in real estate-related companies. Charles believes that Florida, Arizona and Nevada are perfectly poised for continued urban real estate expansion.

Charles recognizes markets that continue to create viable broad based economies, well-supported by highly regarded financial and professional communities, and expanding educational systems with ever-improving infrastructure. Charles had the foresight to recognize many areas’ potential to attract both established corporations and emerging tourism, and to build his real estate companies in line with these markets.

===============

The idea that anywhere in the US is "poised" to continue urban real estate expansion is so laughable you have to wonder if even these two believe their own bullshit. And if you think that was bullshit, read this:

"As I discovered after a recent column, to the list of subjects best avoided if you want a civil discussion -- religion and politics -- you can add the real estate bubble. Plenty of people disagreed with my take that, overall, the "bubble" was nothing more than a long-overdue correction expected in markets across the board. That's only natural after the run-up in prices we've seen over the last few years. Yes, some markets are experiencing considerable value declines that can be classified as a "bubble," but I could probably count those markets on one hand."

Like most of the people on that side of the fence, there will be no retraction when the truth comes out. It will be forgotten by everyone except this blog...

Horatio Alger

2007-03-12T21:05:00.000-07:00

Horatio Alger, Jr. (January 13, 1832–July 18, 1899) was a 19th-century American author who wrote 135 dime novels. Many of his works have been described as rags to riches stories, illustrating how down-and-out boys might be able to achieve the American dream of wealth and success through hard work, courage, determination, and concern for others. The widely held view involves a significant simplification, as Alger's characters do not typically achieve extreme wealth, but middle-class security, stability, and solidity of reputation — that is, their efforts are rewarded with a place in society, not domination of it. He is noted as a significant figure in the history of American cultural and social ideals. Though often repetitive, Alger's novels remain popular. As bestsellers in their own time, Alger's books rivaled those of Mark Twain in popularity.
-Wikipedia

The Horatio Alger myth in the modern era takes on a different sort of light. We are regularly inundated with "rags to riches" stories, but rarely given the context of that story. The "self-made man" is a story that, upon closer inspection, rarely holds up to scrutiny. In fact, the stories themselves don't make financial sense.

If there was ever an excellent example of a fraud, it would Donald Trump, who started out rich and ended up rich. His show "the apprentice" regularly churns out the most vile, ridiculous examples of business backbiting and "sink or swim" management. You get one chance, no feedback, and if you win that makes you the best.

Take a closer look at Kendra Todd, one winner of the apprentice, the simpleton from Florida who purportedly at the age of 26, owns a real estate development company. I would be interested to see how it came to be, and whether, as it is likely, her rich family had something to do with it.

Yahoo has now given this idiot a forum to spout her nonsense about getting rich in real estate. She mocks the bubble, tries to offer sophisticated advice on the topic, and in the end just ends up looking stupid.

The secret to her success may not have been who she is, but who she did...
Partner divorced over Kendra, ex-pal says: She was called a winner by Donald Trump, who picked her as his new hire at the end of The Apprentice 3, but Boynton Beach Realtor Kendra Todd is being called something else these days, and it's not home builder. A well-placed Todd watcher is telling Page Two that the tough-as-nails Trumpette is the main reason her business partner and boyfriend, Charles Andrews, divorced his college sweetheart just nine months after marrying her.

"When you work together into the night like Charles and Kendra, things happen," said Leo Miller, a Boca Realtor who gave Todd her start in the house-selling biz in 2002. Miller, who hosts The RE/MAX Advantage Plus Real Estate Radio Show on WBZT-AM 1230 Thursdays, said he knew Andrews, Todd and Andrews' ex-wife, Carolyn Vanderzyden, well until a financial dispute broke their friendship. He still talks to Vanderzyden routinely.

"Carolyn is devastated," Miller said. "She knew Charles for seven years. She's also a Realtor, and she routinely broke bread with Kendra." (Is Kendra a home-wrecker or is Andrews a scumbag? Maybe the two deserve each other.). LOL

Back for more

2007-01-28T17:08:00.000-08:00

Yes it has been some time, my dear readers, all four of you, since I have graced the net with my electrons. It's been a painful time, and I won't deny that embarrassment has kept me away. Currently I am taking a short hiatus from my work as a law clerk to study for the bar exam...again...and thus I'm staying away from any distractions. I've been at it for about a month, and with roughly one month to go, I've reached the usual one-month depression.

It is about that time that the slow, gradual grind and utter boredom begins to create cracks in your mental armor. You miss doing things that mattered. You miss your paycheck. You miss learning about things that are important and relevant.

I don't need to go into what bullshit the bar exam is, and what a stunning embarrassment law school and those exams are to the legal profession. We will leave that to others.

My job here is to generate motivation; and I admit I'm better at it than many. I take frequent breaks. Go see movies. Surf the net. I try to stay away from jdive.com, but I haven't been totally successful. It's really a ridiculous waste of time.

I've strung together two days of uselessness. I did some mbe's yesterday, and one evidence essay.

Probably the best thing to talk about here, and the most useful thing, is movies. Go see them. The reasons?

1. Gives your eyes a chance to rest on something far away
2. Gives your brain a chance to completely shut off and just be entertained. Thinking too much is not good for you.

I will admit there is dearth of good ones. I have seen so many movies that I've reached a point where I read the worst reviews by critics. Those are usually more along the lines of what I am thinking. And I'm easily entertained, really.

I enjoyed "letters from Iwo Jima", the companion movie to Eastwoods "Flags of our Fathers", although it portrayed an entirely too human Imperial Japan. I have a feeling chinese people watching that movie wouldn't be so sympathetic...or for that matter WWII vets...

The Supreme Court Agrees

2007-01-23T19:54:00.000-08:00

While I am certainly not competent to practice law in the state of California, according to the eminent authorities at the state Bar of California, the Supreme Court has overturned California's reasoning presented in "People v. Black" regarding California' sentencing guidelines.

Not to toot my own horn, but my casenote, written in the Empire College Law Review, predicted this would come to pass, and I was in fine company with those who agreed with me...

Not exactly

2006-11-19T20:32:00.000-08:00

AS it turns out I wasn't actually that close. My visitor Steve had it absolutely correct, I have to revisit my writing technique. I scored 1350. Not even close.

I did, however, score a 1474 on the mbe, or a raw 137, which is a clear passing score for the mbe. Considering I had an entire half hour extra on the morning and afternoon session of the mbe, I should be able to pull that off again if I don't get cocky.

There are four options here

1. Essay advantage with Jeff Adachi
2. The writing edge with Vivian Dempsey
3. Bar Code with Whitney Roberts.

All concentrate solely on the writing, and that is where I need to pick up the points.

Ouch.

2006-11-18T03:54:00.000-08:00

Ouch. I can't wait to see how these jackholes graded me. If there was ever an example of how arbitrary the grading is on this test, this is going to be it. I can almost smell the two points I failed by.

I failed

2006-11-11T20:27:00.000-08:00

I thought I would go ahead and get this out there ahead of time so I wouldn't have to write it later. It's actually five days before the results come out, but there won't be much doubt that afterward I will be incommunicado. For those of you who know me, and wish to confirm my defeat, you can check the bar website. For those of you who don't, the awkward silence will speak to you.

I honestly don't know what else I could have done, but after reading the comments from so many people, I've come to realize a lot of it is luck. If one in ten HLS grads can get shot down, the rest of us lowly types are far more vulnerable.

So anyway, if I'm wrong, you will be hearing from me....if not....

OPPORTUNITY AND FEAR

2006-10-19T15:59:00.000-07:00

So I go into this interview for a contract paralegal job for this firm in SR. I guess it went pretty well because before I know it, the guy is offering me a job as an attorney at 2400 billable hours at 65K. The law school I went to is not a prestigious one, which means that any opportunity that comes my way must be pounced upon almost without question. The interesting thing is that it is in what I wanted to do; probate and trusts. Provided I pass the bar I'm an attorney. If I don't, then I'll get less money and won't be able to take the bar in February. They will train me and get their moneys' worth out of me, and I'll take it again in July, in the meantime getting valuable experience.

Now 2400 hours is completely unbelievable. That means that for the next year, I will have no life. Until I get up to speed, it will be hard. VERY hard.

But I'm hungry, still relatively young, and excited for the challenge. Hard to believe.

Of course, this puts a little more pressure on me to pass the bar. But the test is already taken. The dice are rolled.

I start monday.

2006-10-18T17:29:00.000-07:00

Mother assaults father with baby

2006-10-12T08:55:00.000-07:00

The recent fashionable trend toward impulsive behavior has reached a new low
here when a woman attacked her husband with her own baby...

Cats that look like Hitler

2006-10-12T08:19:00.000-07:00

cats that look like Hitler

Found this interesting

2006-10-11T08:47:00.000-07:00

Guide to Korean military capacity

"The North Korean regime is regularly portrayed in the Western as the lunatics in charge of the asylum. The traditional US deterrence posture rested on the ability to launch a devastating counter-strike against any country that used weapons of mass destruction against America, its allies or deployed forces. Such measures worked against the Soviet Union, whose leaders were rational and risk-averse, but some argue that they may not deter rogue states such as North Korea, whose leaders are indifferent to their people's welfare. Although North Korea's strategies and tactics can be (sometimes purposely) baffling, the country is being run by extremely intelligent and very rational people with a strongly developed sense of self-preservation. The North Korean acquisition of weapons of mass destruction stems not from an indifference to deterrence, but rather a keenly developed understanding of the uses of deterrence."
====================
In other words, it is a huge mistake for us to allow the popular conception of Kim Jong Il, in riduculing him and portraying him as completely insane, to cloud our judgment of their capability and intentions.

The Korean situation

2006-10-09T12:37:00.000-07:00

For those of you up for a five-minute lesson on Korea, here it is.

1. North and South Korea formed at the end of WWII when the Soviet army met the US at the 38th parallel which is now the border between North and South Korea. South Korea is an ally of the US, a capitalist nation, and somewhat a democracy. It is far more prosperous than North Korea.

2. North Korea is the most frightening, most Stalinist nation on earth. In the last ten years somewhere around a million people have died of starvation. Formerly ruled by Kim Il Sung, it is now run by the dictator Kim Jong Il, his son, who overseas a terrifying police state in which there are informers and spies everywhere and any kind of dissent is swiftly dealt with. There are a lot of rumors swirling about him, and the story from Washington is that he is irrational and dangerous. Nonetheless when Madeline Allbright met him, he did not appear to be so, and judging from their shrewd movements in using the threat of a nuclear North Korea to blackmail the west, I'm not sure how much I believe the party line. The Chinese are interested in propping up this regime because if it topples refugees will flood China.

3. Most of the money is spent on the military, which is a formidable force of around 800,000 men, some 4,000 tanks, 800 aircraft and other weapons, much of which sits directly on the 38th parallel within range of Seoul. The North Korean military has enough artillery in range of Seoul to level the entire city. The South Korean military is vastly outclassed by the North Koreans.

4. The US has a contingent of some 28,000 troops sitting near the DMZ of the 38th parallel, the largest contingent outside of Iraq. Due to the mountainous terrain of Korea, it is unlikely that the US would defeat the Koreans as easily as the Iraqi army was defeated.

5. George Bush moved away from diplomatic solutions after the Clinton administration attempted many such overtures and labeled N. Korea as part of an "axis of evil". During Bush's presidence the N. Koreans have developed a nuclear weapon, developed a delivery system which can probably reach the west coast of the US, and now tested a nuclear weapon. Sources say that they probably have enough plutonium to build up to eleven weapons.

6. The US has already fought a war on the Korean peninsula in which some 40,000 Americans lost their lives and which nearly involved the single greatest defeat in American history. After an initial attack by N. Korea, the US drove the Northern forces all the way to the Yalu river, at which time China intervened on behalf of the North Koreans. The 38th parallel remains the border between these two nations, with families cut in two who have never seen each other.

7. It is estimated that an attack on N. Korea by the US would cause the deaths of upwards of ten million people.

North Korea tests a nuclear weapon

2006-10-08T21:46:00.000-07:00

North Korea tested it's first nuclear weapon on Monday, confirmed by a South Korean report that a 3.6 tremor was felt. For those of you unfamiliar with the significance of this, North Korea is ruled by Kim Jong Il, a Stalinist dictator with a huge standing army and weapons which are probably capable of reaching the west coast.

The possible outcomes;

1. A militarized Japan intent upon building a new army and nuclear weapons
2. an invasion of South Korea and subsequent American involvement
3. An invasion by China
4. a preemptive strike by the US against North Korean targets
5. The most likely option is negotiations between North Korea and the US, China, Japan and South Korea in which Korea will blackmail us to obtain food for their starving citizens. Upwards of a million people have starved to death in North Korea in the last ten years, and the regime is constantly on the verge of collapse.

Both two and three raise the possibility of a nuclear attack on South Korea or China. A nuclear attack on California, in the event of American involvement, is also possible.

For those of you who need it explained more simply, this is a very serious international crisis unlike any since the Cuban missile crisis.

I have figured out how to get comments...

2006-10-08T17:27:00.000-07:00

Be a little insulting. I've been a nice guy for so long, flying under the radar, and where has it gotten me? 0 comments...again and again...

I've decided to try a different tactic, as you can see by my latest offensive posting about Mommybloggers, a trend that I would like to see curtailed.

As you will notice below, there are three nasty comments from an anonymous blogger. I coincidentally posted on the blog of a "radical feminist" (read raving insane bitch) after google searching for an article about people who hate kids. You can find her unhinged ravings, which are so extensive that you wonder if some Alaskan meth is involved here
it's good for a laugh, although the fact that she advocates important issues should not be dismissed even though SHE should be. She does for women's rights what Michael Moore has done for the war in Iraq. Taken a good cause and connected it with a lunatic. Apparently I am not the first person to discover her endlessly droll attempt at browbeating half of the planet into submission, nor will I be the last.

Another horrific mommyblog

2006-10-08T09:31:00.000-07:00

They say that this the age of self-absorption, and there is perhaps no greater example of that than the proliferation of "mommyblogs", which are for the most part all exactly the same; women and their "beautiful" children and the trials and tribulations of being white, upper-middle class and having a lot of time to punish us with bad writing.

Good writing is about life, and while there are those who can illuminate for us the moments of beauty that come from the relationship of child and mother, it is a very rare thing. Good writing transcends our identities, in large part. Mommyblogs are all about the identity of the author.

This is really a large part of the essence of what blogs are about. There are those that are facing outward, at the world, usually speaking about politics or events, and those facing inward.

I must admit a bias against the inward facing blogs, and perhaps that is unfair, but for the most part they sound selfish and unashamed of that selfishness. It is one thing to be a self-centered person. It is another to have absolutely no shame about it.

Here is an example of one: wendiwen

I normally don't like to take on other bloggers, but when it comes to mommyblogs, I can't hold back. Read this sentence: "4. I know now that baking soda and baking powder are not the same! A lesson learned the hard way."

I don't know how anyone gets through life with at least trying to bake something ONCE...

here's some other links about this particularly annoying trend:

clubmom

"Amy Corbett Storch is a freelance writer whose thoughts on motherhood and other disasters can be found at amalah.com. She lives in Washington, DC with her husband and her son, who just so happens to be the most delicious baby on the planet"

ouch...

this article describes an article that raised a stink. I only scanned through it so I can't summarize it for you, but apparently a lot of mommybloggers found it insulting.

I can tell you that a blog from a female perspective is probably not much different in my mind. Good writing is niether female, nor male, nor mom, or dad. It just is. The focus on the identity we are fascinated by in the 20th century has gotten a lot of bad writing published and left a lot of good writing out in the cold. We all recall hearing the song "It's hard out there for a pimp" at the Academy awards and many of us winced more than a little at how the rights of women and the rights of blacks could have such a collision. But that moment was important. When we pay attention to who we are, we forget that perhaps the greatest gift of a writer is to ask who THEY are. I don't pretend to have it, but I know it when I see it.

Not doing your homework can be dangerous

2006-10-05T20:48:00.000-07:00

MADISON, Wis. - A state lawmaker, worried about a recent string of deadly school shootings, suggested arming teachers, principals and other school personnel as a safety measure and a deterrent.
ADVERTISEMENT

It might not be politically correct, but it has worked effectively in other countries, Republican Rep. Frank Lasee said Wednesday.

teachers packing

furthermore: "In Thailand, where officials have been waging a bloody fight with Muslim separatists for the last two years, some teachers carry weapons for self defense as they are viewed as part of the government. In Israel, teachers are not allowed to carry weapons in the school, but security guards at the entrances are armed."
============================

I guarantee you if I had a gun when I taught in Vallejo, there would have been a lot more homework turned in. Does anyone think it is strange that Pennsylvania is using Israel as a model?

Treasonous gas

2006-10-05T14:12:00.000-07:00

A man who farted loudly when asked what he thought of the President of Poland was arrested and later failed to appear for court. A manhunt is underway to locate him..

Idiot corporations

2006-10-04T18:52:00.000-07:00

Given the size and wealth of American corporations, we often mistakenly believe that such power is the result of vast intelligence. It leaves us assured that no matter how poor, insignificant and powerless we are, being rich, important, and powerful is no innoculation for stupidity. I would like to thank both Don Rumsfeld and Condi Rice for allowing me to maintain my illusion of superiority over the last few years.

I found this article while perusing the pages of Slate in which

"Lots of you complained about your company's idiotic plan to cut costs by clamping down on the purchase and use of office supplies. J.S., a former employee of U.S. Bank, recalled that the company refused to order or pay for Post-it notes. At a very large name-brand data provider, pens and Post-its are apparently kept under lock and key. A relative of a telephone company employee reports that the gigantic firm said it "will no longer purchase supplies such as pencils, and paper, and Post-its" for the office where the employee works."

Still further: "The desire to cut costs by saving or recycling paper clips aroused the most incredulity and anger. Former Bear Stearns employee B.B. recalls being given a bag of paper clips on his first day "with the explanation that the firm would never buy paperclips … This was on the direction of [legendary gazillionaire CEO] Ace Greenberg, and the company seemed almost proud of this inane cost-cutting measure." A former Bank of America investment-banking analyst recalls that the megabank "once told its employees to use paper clips instead of staples because paper clips could be re-used to save money." According to one correspondent, managers at a data center of a different firm were asked to "keep a listing (on a piece of paper) of each clip that we used, and the reason for the use!"

2006-10-02T21:04:00.000-07:00

overheadinnewyork

this is funny

2006-10-02T19:36:00.000-07:00

overheardinnewyork

Dude #1: All the women in here are pretty unapproachable.
Dude #2: I'll approach the shit outta them.

--Fat Cat, Christopher St

Gastric Adventures: Zucchini Parmesan

2006-10-02T19:10:00.000-07:00

Gastric Adventures: Zucchini Parmesan

Why

2006-10-02T10:08:00.000-07:00

I love my dentist

This is really creepy

2006-10-02T09:43:00.000-07:00

worshipping Shrub

Electric Light Orchestra (ELO)

2006-10-01T16:55:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh...the exuberance of the 70's....

evil woman

Living thing

Telephone line

Strange magic

Dead man walking

2006-09-30T15:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at I met Sister Helen Prejean at the Sonoma County Bar luncheon, the author of
Dead Man Walkingand quite the crusty speaker. I've always wondered about the death penalty and the absurd state of affairs that allows this bizarre ritual to take place. Why exactly you would take the life of a human being as a warning to others not to take the lives of human beings seems contradictory. Kind of like "porn stars for virginity" or "Republicans against fear-mongering". How about "Jihadists for tolerance"?

It's a good opportunity to pause and think. How many catholics are for the death penalty but anti-abortion?

He left his mark

2006-09-27T10:50:00.000-07:00

Man Who Shouted 'Tequila!' in Song Dies

The Associated Press

Danny Flores, who played the saxophone and shouted the word "tequila!" in the 1950s hit song "Tequila!", has died. He was 77.

Don't wear your helmet!

2006-09-25T18:46:00.000-07:00

Bicycle helmets may backfire by encouraging cars to drive closer to the cyclist. Theory: Wearing a helmet makes you look like you know what you're doing, so drivers assume you can operate in tighter space. Evidence: A traffic psychologist rode a sensor-equipped bike around Britain, and when he wore a helmet, cars passed more than three inches closer, on average, than when he didn't. He was also hit by two vehicles while wearing the helmet. Bonus finding: When he dressed as a woman, drivers gave him more than five inches of extra space. Psychologist's interpretation: Helmets protect you in a low-speed tumble but may backfire in serious car traffic. Accident-prevention group's rebuttal: Wear your helmet, and we'll educate drivers to give you more space. (For Human Nature's update on the dangerous distraction of car navigation systems, click here.)
-slate.com

Happy lawyers

2006-09-20T07:59:00.000-07:00

Find Satisfaction In the Law: Guest Column

Your First Years as a Lawyer: An Owner's Manual
by Thane J. Messinger, J.D., M.B.A.

The Search for Satisfaction

I'll start this guest column, if the WebFolks don't object, on a radical note:

New lawyers should not be concerned with job satisfaction.

OK...Got your attention?!

Perhaps I should qualify that: New lawyers should not be concerned with job satisfaction...*at first*. They should, instead, prepare themselves for *future* satisfaction. In this, the first few years of law practice are like the first few years of any other intense training program--medicine, music, or the Marines, to name an alliterative few. In any of these disciplines, as in law, it takes an enormous amount of work before you are in a position to enjoy the rewards. (This is not mere seniority-based protectionism. Until you have gained familiarity with the law, and are able to service (and attract) clients on your own, you are in a poor position to fulfill your professional obligations...much less attend to your own psychic needs.)

It's been my experience that lawyers who demand (or just expect) to be satisfied...are often the most unhappy. It's not that job satisfaction is an unreasonable demand. It *is* that demanding satisfaction immediately is both unrealistic and counter-productive. This is especially true for those who expect satisfaction to come externally: as if it's your *employer's* duty to see that you're happy. Yes, employers (of all kinds) are sometimes short-sighted. But, chances are you will be, too, when the roles are reversed; management is not an easy task, and it's easy to take pot-shots at bosses.

Satisfaction comes from doing something one enjoys. The reality of law practice is not often conducive to enjoyment, simply because much of what law does is either adversarial or nit-picky (and often both). But the story doesn't end there; let's look at the other side: Dissatisfaction with law has several components. Some are dissatisfied because they hold unrealistic expectations. If you expect to enjoy the lifestyle that you enjoyed in a sheltered academic existence (if yours was indeed sheltered), without stress or midnight work sessions, then it is very unlikely that you will find satisfaction anywhere in the law (or anywhere outside the law, for that matter). It's a big world out there, and you're a small, small part of it. (And, metaphysics aside, what do you think is the importance of your individual survival within the ecosystem?) Sorry to be so blunt; I'm just trying to grab your attention, and shift your attitude *before* you hurt yourself.

Your job is, first, to understand what is going on, and, second, adapt to your environment for your own survival...not for the benefit of the ecosystem. Many lawyers are miserable, and assume that they're the only ones suffering. This is natural, and one of the reasons I wrote The Young Lawyer's Jungle Book was to let lawyers (and especially new lawyers) know that they're not alone, and prevent many of the problems caused more by inattention than through active disdain.

Don't be so quick to dislike practice. Yes, it's easy to look at the endless sheets of paper crossing your desk, and lose interest. Yes, it's easy to look across the street and imagine all the fun that everyone else is having. Stop. First, that's not fair to your client, who is paying large sums of money for your talent and attention. Second, it's a dangerous attitude in a world of increasing malpractice concern. Third, it's the first step of a path leading to your removal, in one way or another; don't head down that path without some thought. Fourth, it's short-sighted: Everyone else has stress and boredom, too. Finally, you're wrong. Very, very few jobs in life are both rewarding (intellectually and fiscally) and fun. To expect to be entertained at work -- any work -- is simply unfair. Instead, look to the interesting parts of practice. If you only look at the unpleasant aspects of your work, you'll miss the good parts...and you'll make the mistake of assuming that everyone else is cruising through life.

Also, focus, focus, focus. Once you've mastered an area, then master its intricacies. Not only is it personally rewarding, it'll be professionally rewarding, as well.

If you find that you really, truly, honestly don't like an area of law practice...fine. Plan carefully (and early) to shift to a different area, or to move to a different environment. (More on this is just a bit.) If you find that you really, truly, honestly don't like law practice *at all*...fine. Plan your exit as soon as you can. But take care of your clients and their projects in the meantime. And, in any career event, take care of fundamental professional demands, get comfortable with yourself as an attorney (even if you don't want to do it for long), and worry about self-actualization...later. Don't expect to be satisfied, immediately, and you won't be so disappointed.

Take care of the basics (and take care of them well), and your career options open up. Ignore the basics at your vocational (and emotional) peril.

Thane J. Messinger

PS: Sorry for the harsh tone, but that's part of the message--and it's better to get it from an unknown voice over the Internet...than from the throat of a dissatisfied boss. Don't put your career cart before the job horse. Figure out, now, the rules of the game. The trophies (career and personal) will follow.

Muslims prove that Islam isn't violent

2006-09-16T10:01:00.000-07:00

In a phone call to The Associated Press, a group calling itself the "Lions of Monotheism" claimed responsibility for those attacks, saying they were carried out to protest the pope's remarks in a speech this week in Germany linking Islam and violence.
-yahoo news
0---------------------------

So in order to demonstrate their anger about comments by the pope who was pontificating upon why the use of violence in the name of religion is unacceptable, these geniuses attacked church property. Not exactly "violent" per se, but good for a laugh....

WHy I support baggy pants

2006-09-06T10:34:00.000-07:00

Baggy pants are now a fashion trend well into the second decade, and I fully support this fashion trend. The reason?

June 20, 2006 — Any plumber could tell you droopy drawers tend to trip you up, but apparently a lot of crooks fail to listen. Loose-fitting, baggy jeans have been in fashion for years, but police officers say they can also help fight crime.

"When they run, it makes our job easier," said Jim Matheny, a lieutenant with the Stamford, Conn., police department. The 41-year-old told ABC News he has no trouble chasing down suspects who wear low-hanging pants.

"They go to take off and either they have to use their hands to hold their pants up or several times the pants just fell down around their knees and they had to stop running," Matheny said. "They spend all day thinking of ways to beat the police and then they go and put these pants on. It really handicaps them."

Matheny said that those considering a life of crime might want to take a look at their wardrobes first.

"It's hilarious to me if you think about it," he said. "This is what they do for a living. It's like when the big thing was not tying your shoes and we had kids running out of their shoes."

2006-09-05T10:52:00.000-07:00

I found this particularparagraph while reading a piece on "Deadwood" (which I LOVE)in slate and couldn't help but sigh in despair....when will writers dispense with attempting to impress and just do the job of impressing?
======================

A former Yale and Iowa English lecturer, Milch dresses up his auteurlike compulsiveness with a professorial bearing and impressive erudition, a pose that allows him to effectively advance his idiosyncratic vision for the series. He gets what he wants by keeping the line between perfectionism and egghead narcissism deliciously vague.

Successful prosecutors

2006-09-05T10:04:00.000-07:00

From Hiroshi Matsubara’s “Trial By Prosecutor” (Legal Affairs: March/April 2003):

In 1990, a retired high-court judge gave an influential speech that indicted the criminal justice system [of Japan], citing the nation’s 99.8 percent conviction rate as evidence that prosecutors, not courts, decide the fate of criminals. Criminal trials, he declared, are merely “formal ceremonies” en route to conviction. …

Prosecutors are vested with tremendous authority, and courts routinely defer to prosecutorial judgment. The prosecutor, in collaboration with law enforcement, is expected not only to enforce the laws but to decide how to use them to serve the public good. He is given far broader powers of investigation than his American counterpart, including the ability to search, seize, and interrogate without the interference of defense counsel. Justice in Japan is often equated to cooperating with the prosecutor. One of the earliest changes made by legislators to the American legal framework was the addition of a “societal duty” to submit to questioning upon arrest.

True post from jdjive.com

2006-09-01T12:30:00.000-07:00

I am the smartest person on this board
Posted by: sombara
Date: August 31, 2006 02:05PM

Prove me wrong

Options: Reply To This Message•Quote This Message
Re: I am the smartest person on this board
Posted by: B.Rubble
Date: August 31, 2006 02:08PM

res ipsa.

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Re: I am the smartest person on this board
Posted by: sombara
Date: August 31, 2006 02:14PM

Non sequitur

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Re: I am the smartest person on this board
Posted by: pdiddy
Date: August 31, 2006 02:23PM

post hoc ergo procter hoc

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Re: I am the smartest person on this board
Posted by: sombara
Date: August 31, 2006 02:24PM

I have a 1 inchh erect dickk...

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Re: I am the smartest person on this board
Posted by: sombara
Date: August 31, 2006 02:42PM

EDIT: 11

These folks are hoping you forgot what they said

2006-08-27T17:28:00.000-07:00

The Basics
The next hot housing markets
advertisement
Average prices nationwide are soaring, but for every San Diego, there’s a Tucson – sunny, relatively cheap and growing fast.

By Liz Pulliam Weston
=============================

Hot housing markets
The latest numbers: Double-digit gains in 62 markets; Florida steps into the limelight.
February 15, 2005: 11:40 AM EST
By Sarah Max, CNN/Money senior writer
Hot housing markets
These markets saw the greatest gains between the fourth quarter of 2003 and fourth quarter of 2004.

Market Percent increase
Las Vegas, NV 47.3
Riverside/San Bernardino, CA 34.7
West Palm Beach/Boca Raton, FL 34.0
Bradenton, FL 32.0
Sacramento, CA 31.5
Melbourne/Titusvile/Palm Bay, FL 30.5
Washington, DC 26.9
Ocala, FL 26.8
Ft. Myers/Cape Coral/Punta Gorda, FL 26.5
Sarasota, FL 25.8

Source: National Association of Realtors

NEW YORK (CNN/Money) – Anyone looking for signs of weakness in the real estate market will be disappointed, according to the National Association of Realtors.
===========================================

Housing market stays hot
Valley sales boom to another record
Catherine Reagor Burrough
The Arizona Republic
Apr. 21, 2005 12:00 AM
Home buyers waited in line for a chance purchase in new communities. Sellers were
bombarded with multiple offers on their homes. Real estate agents had more clients
than houses to show.
Metropolitan Phoenix's housing market broke records again in March.
Existing-home sales shot up nearly 39 percent from a year ago to hit 12,911 last
month, according to R.L. Brown's Phoenix Housing Market Letter. Single-family
building permits jumped almost 19 percent, to reach 6,203. New-home sales climbed
17 percent to 4,913.
"Why shouldn't the Valley's housing market be this strong?" Brown said. "Population
growth is strong. The job market is not far from being called good. And obviously
people can still afford homes in the Valley.
--------------------------------------------

By JEFF HARRINGTON, Times Staff Writer
Published March 24, 2005

Need further evidence that Florida is defying what appears to be a national cool-down in the housing market?

Consider this milestone of sorts from an industry report Wednesday: The median sales price of an existing home in Florida topped the $200,000 mark in February for the second month in a row.

"We are hotter than a firecracker right now," said Nancy Riley, a longtime real estate agent in Pinellas County. "It is not unusual at all to see multiple offers and multiple back-up offers after one has been accepted."

She recalled one recent listing in Feather Sound for a $350,000 home that drew three offers in a week: two for full price and one for $5,000 above listing. Then there was the condominium that drew five offers within four hours of going on the market.
==========================
ousing Market Still
Hot in Los Angeles

By Maura Webber Sadovi
Special to The Wall Street Journal Online

Still near the top of the pile in a nation of soaring housing values, Los Angeles' red-hot rate of home-price appreciation dropped into the single-digit range last quarter. Median home values rose 8.3% to $474,800 in the metropolitan area during the second quarter from the year-earlier period, after rising 25.9% to $446,400 in 2004.
[Los Angeles]

This three-bedroom home in Covina, east of downtown Los Angeles, has an asking price of $635,000.

Residents looking to catch a break by renting are also out of luck. They face average monthly payments that are among the nation's highest thanks to a steady influx of new immigrants priced out of the home market, and a high proportion of young adults in the population, according to Property & Portfolio Research Inc. (PPR), a Boston-based real-estate research firm.
=========================
I would be interested to see if all the people who have been predicted that there was no end in sight to the rise in housing prices will now be admitting it. I've seen a lot of ominous silence from the ranks of those who were such vociferous opponents of the idea that there was a bubble. Their words are memorialized throughout the net.

Dear Employee Mr. Pluto-

2006-08-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

We thank you for your services over the eons. As you know, the solar system has decided to go in a different direction, and as a result, your services will no longer be necessary. We do, however, have an alternate position available in the non-planet sector which may properly accomodate your new situation. In light of these new realities, many solar systems throughout the galaxy have been downsizing as well as outsourcing planetary positions to other solar systems where the economic realities make it easier for us to compete. As your skills as an iceball floating in the nether-regions of space become more commonplace, the need for such skills decrease. We understand the hardship that this may pose for you, and as a result are offering retraining at no cost to you for an asteroid-related position. Please accept our sincerest regrets.

Sincerely,

Planetary Resources

Cooking the books at the NAR?

2006-08-25T13:46:00.000-07:00

After reading the following story my bullshit detector rang...the reason? Read this:
---------------------
"With mortgages rising and home prices at such a high level, people who might have considered purchasing a home a few years ago may now be turning to the rental market, particularly in big cities like New York," says Richard Levy, a senior research analyst at the National Multi Housing Council, an industry association based in Washington, D.C.

But much to renters' chagrin -- and landlords' delight -- greater demand has led to higher rents. In fact, NAR expects rents will rise an average of 4.1 percent this year, compared to a 2.9 percent increase last year.
---------------------------------
The key phrase here is "turning" to the rental market. The question this all begs is what exactly people who are "considering" purchasing a home are doing if they aren't renting. If they are already renting, then how could there be an increase in rentals? It's not just counterintuitive, it's completely illogical. When you realize it is the housing industry who is generating this study or the statistic, it all begins to make sense. The recent argument presented by the real estate industry is that the "psychology" of the situation is what is causing people to flee. Note that it wasn't the psychology of the situation that created what I call the bubble, according to these same folks. That means that when the market is increasing, it's due to sound economics, and when it is decreasing, it's because people just don't understand that the only place to go in the housing market is up.

All I can say is that these are really grievous people.

Remember me?

2006-08-23T18:44:00.000-07:00

But what do I know?

The bubble

Yup

Now suddenly everyone says "bubble"

2006-08-23T18:33:00.000-07:00

Flash back to over a year ago when we were watching the hottest housing market ever seen in the US and you will find people like myself trying to point out that it was a lot of hot air. My prediction which I had actually made years earlier was based upon the similarities between the tech stock bubble (which I also predicted)and the housing bubble. The same vapid illogical and inane arguments presented then were presented again. The formula for me seemed pretty simple: in order for these housing prices to be sustained, there needed to be more income available. Instead what we had were lenders loosening up the requirements and buyers depending upon the market continuing to rise. It seemed obvious to me that eventually the prices would rise so high and enough people would have already bought that it would reach equilibrium so that the demand would lessen and the supply would lower prices. Prices have in effect been articially kept high.

The real estate industry, having created this mess with their hucksterism, continues to sell the snake oil, and it is shameful. The one thing I did not predict was higher gas prices adding to the mess. The feds need to raise interest rates in order to combat inflation, but are refusing to do so because they don't want to cause massive foreclosures caused by those who were suckered into buying a home under the impression that there was only one way to go and that was up. I predict that they will be forced to raise interest rates.

The first time I voted as a Republican...

2006-08-20T15:48:00.000-07:00

WASHINGTON - Republicans have lost their way when it comes to many core GOP principles and may be in jeopardy heading into the fall elections, Sen. Chuck Hagel (news, bio, voting record), R-Neb. says. Hagel, a possible presidential candidate in 2008, said Sunday that the GOP today is very different party from the one when he first voted Republican.

"First time I voted was in 1968 on top of a tank in the Mekong Delta," said Hagel, a Vietnam veteran. "I voted a straight Republican ticket. The reason I did is because I believe in the Republican philosophy of governance. It's not what it used to be. I don't think it's the same today."
-Yahoo news
===================================

What a clown.

The Bullocks conspiracy

2006-08-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

I removed Eugene Bullock's (excuse me, Volokh's) blog from my blogroll the other day because I couldn't get out of my mind all of the idiotic apologists for gun-violence exhibiting their embarrassingly absurd arguments on the topic. The blog itself is replete with various ass-kissing quislings and other "conservative intellectuals" posing as, well, intellectuals when really what is being exhibited is nothing of the sort. I was pleased to read a brief segment in Crooked Timber, which is usually a boring and tedious blog, taking him on regarding another topic. It seems that my first impressions of him and his entourage was probably correct; a reasonably smart guy blinded by his prejudices able to formulate cogent enough arguments that people accept uncritically.

--------------------
Um, this is the guy who once emitted a “thought experiment” in the form of “What if the theocrats are right, and gays really do ‘recruit’?” Correct? And I’m supposed to be surprised that he’s coughed up another gob of ugliness in the service of contrarianism, or of boldly going where no thinker has dared to go before, or something?

What’s really depressing/infuriating is that this is what passes for courageous thinking for so many people these days: What if the shared values that we take for granted are just so many P.C. liberal pieties that have rammed down our throats willy-nilly? Is torture really such a bad thing if the people being tortured are super-mega-evil? Was slavery really so bad? Do gay people really deserve equality under the law? What if straight white guys tend to own and run most of the world because they deserve to? Follow that path long enough and look where we end up: Face it honey, the only thing you’ve got against “sexual harassment” is that you might—God forbid—actually enjoy it!

“Stupid” is one word for it, Belle, but I don’t think it does it justice.

Crooked Timber

This is funny

The hardest bar exam

2006-08-10T07:20:00.000-07:00

After reading the numerous debates about which state has the hardest bar exam, and of course, wanting to believe that I have taken, if not passed, the hardest one, I googled it. (ahhhh....a new verb) To my surprise, I discovered the hardest bar exam is in fact the JAPANESE bar exam. Only three per cent of all applicants pass.

A society that prizes harmony over all almost anything it would seem does not appreciate the need for lawyers. In fact, there is reportedly a SHORTAGE of lawyers in Japan. Estimates range, for a nation of about a hundred million people (roughly, I'm going by memory) that there are only 20,000 attorneys. American has one million.

I have read observations that state that Japan has historically maintained social order by denying recourse to most people. This would portray American society as a society in which the common people have greater freedom in their ability to use the government to protect themselves. The other side of that is obviously the abuse of the system so commonly the subject of newspaper articles ridiculing the legal profession and the process itself; that Americans think too much of their rights and not enough of their obligations to others.

This is what

2006-08-04T17:28:00.000-07:00

the bar exam feels like...

bad

My life begins part two

2006-08-03T12:58:00.000-07:00

Now that I have time to exercise and sit in the sun, I'm even cracking a book or two. I have always loved reading, and the greatest tragedy for a law student is how, at least in my case, I began to dislike it. Or at least avoid it. My eyes had a tough time reading the hundreds of pages each week. I managed to read newspapers, or internet news, or an occasional article, but I avoided recreational reading.

Something happens to you when you actually enjoy reading and lose it. YOu lose your inspiration. There used to be this world that was open to you, a world of adventure, of far away places, of intrigue. It has been said that the greatest tragedy in the life is not death itself, but what dies within while one lives. I sat there down at the newstand cafe and perused the economist and then the New Yorker. The economist held my interest, and I briefly read an article about Hollywood's top lawyer, who I concluded was probably a crook and an asshole, but who really liked Shakespeare. Anyone who has written books on Shakespeare can't be all bad.

Then I went across the street to the bookstore. There was some time in my life when I eagerly went through the titles and imagined having enough money to buy them; sometimes I spent my paltry teacher pay on them. But as I went through the titles, avoiding the fiction and focusing on the current events and politics, a feeling of disappointment came over me. There was, in short, nothing I wanted to read.

I came across a book about the rise of the religious right. Yawn....a book about depression...depressing....a book about a guy who had five careers...that might have been funny, but glib humor seems passe to me now. I opened a book by an NPR commentator and got through a passage about a cop getting his testicles shot off, then an ugly hooker. I wonder how far I would get with a passage about a female police officer being shot in the vagina.

There was the usual smattering of what I refer to as "female fiction". The rise of affluent, literate housewives has given birth to a whole generation of really awful writing, the reviews of which read something like "a story of a mother and a daughter in a northern New England Town, a deep, dark secret..." blah blah blah....Good writing transcends the audience divisions. So much of east coast writing is targeted at that audience that I fear really fantastic writers have gone the way of really fantastic musicians. They get the Janis Joplin and we get Brittany Spears. They get Edward Abbey and we get....Arundutie Roy or whatever the generic Indian Chick's name is.

There was a story about a man in Australia who managed to get himself published by impersonating a female aborigine. That was telling; it proved in no uncertain terms that the identity of the author now rules the day. The story isn't chosen by it's own power; it's chosen by who is connected to it.

I know now what at least one of my new goals in life is; it's to find a book that speaks to me.

Any suggestions?

My life begins...again...

2006-08-03T12:43:00.000-07:00

It's pretty hard to power down after a marathon like this one. The initial exhaustion lasted a few days, and then I began to revisit my health. I now seriously question the health effects of this profession, and the life choices people make. There is no profession, and no amount of money, that is worth being fat and unhealthy over. A short and glorious existence or a long and unremarkable one...that is an easy choice to make. At least for me. It amazes me the physical condition I was once in. I could jog in one hundred degree heat...hike for hours in death valley, alone and unafraid. Hike into the Sierras for days at a time. Now I'm fearful to be away from my sleep apnea machine, and even jogging around the track makes me cautious. That is no way to live.

I continue to do an autopsy on the test; a bad idea, with no upside. JDJIVe.com is a very unhappy place, filled with a lot of really tiny, insecure people. I belong there. In any case, a few issues seem to have arisen as of late. The first one was DRR on the wills and trusts test, which I missed but agree was pretty clearly there. I discussed it in a sentence without really mentioning it by name, so I might get some points. Another was the Professional Responsibility issues on Pt B. There was a disproportionate fee splitting agreement which may have created an unreasonable fee. I was fortunate to speak with several people who remembered their bar review course mentioning the fact that these PR issues pop in PT's. I found it written in barbri, barpassers, and even the Bar itself that you are supposed to do that. Remarkably, even in the face of these experts, there are those who still argue it wasn't there. We will find out sometime. I don't expect to eat crow.
There was another group who continue to argue that the con law essay had a zoning regulation. Of course, in order to have a zoning regulation, you have to have a zone where certain speech is allowed, and another place where it isn't. The ordinance prohibited it in the whole county, so the line of cases these folks relied upon didn't apply. One fellow even cited, RAV, then backtracked, and then cited Renton, and stated the facts of renton incorrectly. It is absolutely stunning how people continue to defend positions that have disintegrated underneath them for the sake of their foolish pride. I feel better all the time about the level of competition I face in the legal field.
Of course, the bar probably doesn't really care that much about whether you got the law wrong. If you line up the law with the facts, they will probably pass you. I'm stunned by the number of applicants who honestly believe their conclusions matter.

In any case, doing an autopsy is foolish, and anyone who took that test and says it was 'easy' when they haven't got their scores (The California essays are reportedly the hardest in the nation, or at least graded the hardest) is whistling in the dark. When you have very intelligent people who go to top schools failing at a ratio of one in ten (at least) this test isn't a mere formality. Failure for anyone is a real possibility.

day t2

2006-07-26T07:28:00.000-07:00

You will not be surprised to find out I did not post yesterday. I tried, but the wirelss network I'm leeching off of at a pub down below wasn't working. I hate computers. Computers hate me. Yesterday they let us mill around until the last minute and then let us in...the numbers we had to sit according to were not sequential...brilliant...I wandered around until a proctor put me down in the right spot. I had spent the morning walking up the stairs and found my way into a banquet room on the top floor where I watched the sun rise over the oakland hills and lake Meritt and stretched..did some jumping jacks and some kata...then down to the bar. I opened the door and Tom came out of the stairway at the exact moment.

There must have been a thousand people in this room. Long, thick cords hung from the ceiling like a seen out of war of the worlds...people weren't as nervous as I thought they would be. Neither was I. Of course, half of us will fail, so maybe there is some foolish bravado in all that. I ran into my cousin just before I went into the room. She was kind of freaked out.

I set my power options a week ago and forgot to reset them, so after twenty minutes, the computer hibernated and I had five minutes until the test started. All I could do was calmly wait for it to return. Okay at least fifteen minutes before the test. In any case, when softest returned, the window was completely open for the test. I pointed it out to the proctor, and she didn't seem to think it was a big deal.

Three easy tests to start out with. Except for one subject I didn't expect, but had studied, they seemed all to be straightforward. This of course means that they will grade harder, as they lately seem to be of the opinion that by failing more people they are doing their job. I love self-perpetuating bureaucracies.

When lunch came I was chased up the stairway to the fourteenth floor by panicked people. My knee ached. The worst thing about the test is the searing pain going down my right leg. Right along the back. I had to get up and walk to the bathroom, even though I really didn't have to go, just to alleviate it. I NEVER got up during a test in law school.

I slapped together a sandwhich and ate some cold pizza. It was already time to go by the time I finished.

When we returned my computer booted up and then asked if I wanted to connect to the internet. It then rebooted and kept rebooting. I don't know what the fucking problem is with softest, but something this important should not be beholden to incompetent software execs. I ended up writing out the entire performance test by hand. Nine pages. I was so pissed I just sat there and stewed after the test.

I don't really know if it hurt me, but I rely upon typing for corrections and allowing me to obtain maximum volume, so I'm of the impression that it did.

so, today is the MBE....wish me luck..

The rest of the day was a blur

Day 0

2006-07-24T17:30:00.000-07:00

I was awake until 12 last night...bad idea, I know, but at least I'll sleep well tonight. Drove down to Oakland with my buddy Tom and checked in...Marriot is nice...at some Vietnamese food and went back to my room and took a short nap, then went an exercised. There was some young kids running as fast as they could. They lasted about ten minutes. Wankers. The chick had a shirt that said "Yale". What is it about Tier one grads that they so often need to assuage their sense of superiority by sporting the label? In the bar exam, we are all equal. Well, okay, they have 90% bar pass rate (probably a result of their rigorous admissions policy rather than their rigorous education). The guys all respect the most don't even mention it. You find out about it in passing.

It's odd how it's all set up. There are no signs, the bar is very unhelpful. Just one room with securities warnings along the front "You are entering a secure examination area....blah blah blah".

I've had episodes of panic over the last several days, none turning into a full-blown panic attack, and more often now alternating with a sense of calm. Some of the candidates look incredibly nervous, and others look cool as a cucumber. I keep thinking about studying but all I can do is go over my checklists and kind of glance around. I keep finding uncomfortable gaps. I know that a class action requires numerosity, typicality, commonality, and adequacy, but there is another three things...and something about notice....I've realized that this kind of stuff probably is minimal points. The point is, did you spot the issue?

All I can do is remain calm and repeat my mantras;

DON'T DISMISS IN YOUR HEAD WHAT YOU NEED TO DISMISS ON PAPER

HAVE YOU TRANSFERRED EVERYTHING FROM YOUR SCRIBBLINGS ONTO THE OUTLINE?

TRUST THE PROCESS

EVERY FACT HAS A HOME

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sO FAR I have xtian evangelicals praying, a wicca circle, and of course everyone else sending positive energy my way....