Saturday, April 14, 2007

Defensive parents

A lot of parents, like the idiot who spawned this particular thread, get defensive when challenged. But the answer to such behavior, by noted "child experts" like the one in this article is passive, and IMO guaranteed to get no results.
How should people "deal" with other people's annoying kids? How do they retaliate?
Most parents are defensive. Yes, they do get it, they know their kid is rude and either they are rude themselves and don't care about the effect that it has on you, or they've managed to avoid taking responsibility and want to live in ignorance. In other words, you'll probably be talking to a wall. But, I have found that sometimes being cagey on your part can be helpful. That is, saying something like, "Boy, my older one used to love to run up to people and burp in their faces also. In fact, he could burp the entire alphabet by the time he graduated from elementary school. The way that I got him to stop it was to...." and then give a suggestion or two. In this way you are taking the blame first (defensive folks like that — they hate to be criticized), and they just may listen. It's worth a try, but you have to be willing to take it on the chin initially.
I absolutely, positively could not disagree more. There is no nice way to say "you are an incompetent parent", or "you are an asshole". So you have the choice to either step up and confront the person, or avoid the conflict and let it happen. People who allow their kids to be rude and obnoxious are so themselves, and can even be dangerous. That being said, walking around in fear of such bullies is no way to live. Their kids will bully your kids, and their parents will bully you, unless you stand up to them. Slowly but surely we need to take this nation back from these assholes, and the more people stand up, the more they will realize THEY are the minority.

I recall a guy skiing into a ski lift line and almost knocking someone over who was in the line. Every skier knows you need to go slowly in such situations. When the guy called him on it, the rude person not only wouldn't admit it, he started getting aggressive and calling the guy an asshole. I stepped up, and with a few choice words, suddenly this jerk was outnumbered, and he backed off. That is what needs to happen with this parents. They need to be outnumbered and outgunned. But if nobody has the guts to do it, and we have "child experts" telling us their is a nice way to confront people who are raving assholes, it won't happen.


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